
Book..>(^46J^_ 

COHRIGHT DEPOSIT. 



othing But The Truth 



iAMES MONTGOMERY 




AMUEL FRENCH, 28-30 West 38th St., New York 



Nothing But The 
Truth 

A COMEDY IN THREE ACTS, 



BY 
JAMES MONTGOMERY 



CAUTION: Professionals and amateurs are hereby 
warned that "NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH," being 
fully protected under the copyright laws of the United 
States, is subject to royalty, and any one presenting 
the play without the consent of the owners or their 
authorized agents will be liable to the penalties by 
law provided. Applications for the amateur acting 
rights must be made to Samuel French, 28-30 West 
38th St., New York. Applications for the profes- 
sional rights must be made to The American Play 
Company, 33 West 42nd St., New York. 



New York: 

SAMUEL FRENCH 

Publisher 

28-30 West 38th Street 



London : 

SAMUEL FRENCH, Ltd. 

26 Southampton Street 

Strand 



7 y 



\ 



Copyright, 1914 (in Novel Form), by The Bobbs-Mer- 
rill Company 

Copyright, 1914 (under the title of "Gid Ap"), by The 
Bobbs-Merrill Company 

Copyright, 1916, by Mark E. Swan 

Copyright, Great Britain, 1920, by Samuel French 

Copyright, Dominion of Canada, 1920, by Samuel French 

Copyright, 1920, by Samuel French 



All Rights Reserved 



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first having been obtained from the publisher, con- 
fers no right or license to professionals or amateurs 
to produce the play publicly or in private for gain 
or charity. 

In its present form this play is dedicated to the 
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be given except by special arrangement with Samuel 
French, 28-30 West 38th Street, New York. 

Section 28 — That any person who wilfully or for 
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more than one thousand dollars, or both, in the dis- 
cretion of the court. 

Act of March 4, 1909. 



20 
©CI.C 55160 



CAST OF CHARACTERS 

Bob Bennett 

B. M. Rallston 

Bishop Doran 

Clarence Van Dusen 

Dick Donnelly 

Gwen 

Mrs. Ralston 

Ethel 

Mabel 

Sabel 

Martha 



Nothing But The Truth 



ACT I 



Scene: Interior of a broker's office in one of the 
principal uptown New York hotels. The fur- 
niture is characteristic of a prosperous broker- 
age firm. Arch entrance leading to hotel 
corridor R. ist; Door in back flat r. with in- 
terior backing. Double windows in back flat 
l. c. with street drop outside; Door to private 
office l. I with interior backing. Chair r. half 
way between door r. i and desk c. Stock 
ticker and hat rack between door r. i and 
door in back flat R. Picture of George Wash- 
ington on back flat between door l. and tor- 
menter; Flat top desk c. with chairs r v l. and 
c. Telephone and office material on desk. 

Van Dusen discovered seated l. of desk l. c. t 
reading the stock market quotations from the paper. 

(Enter Ralston from Right) 

Ralston. Hello, Van! (Hangs up hat up r v 
goes to chair back of desk) 

Van. Hello. 

Ralston. Where are those two partners of 
mine? 

Van. I don't know. 

5 



6 NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH 

Ralston. It's pretty soft for them to have an 
office in an uptown hotel with three bars — cafes. 
It's a shame they have to spend any of their time 
on business. 

Van. Why don't you look in the bar ? 

Ralston. They're not in there. 

Van. How do you know ? 

Ralston. I was in there myself. 

Van. You left the downtown office rather early, 
tHdn't you? 

Ralston. As soon as the market closed. 

Van. Market close strong? 

Ralston. (Going up to ticker up c.) Yes. 
Trade was pretty dull up here, apparently. 

Van. Very slow. 

Ralston. (Coming down l. cj Except in the 
cafe. (Enter Bishop Doran from r. arch. Comes 
to r. c.) 

Van. (l. to Ralston, who has his back to 
bishop) Who is the gentleman in the uniform? 

Ralston. Uniform? Ah, Bishop Doran ! Come 
right in, Bishop. 

Bishop. (Comes down r. c.) I'm glad to find 
you in, Mr. Ralston. 

Ralston, (c. standing) Our services are over 
for the day. 

Bishop, (r. c.) Oh, I'm not opposed to the 
stock market, Mr. Ralston — that is, when it repre- 
sents legitimate trading. 

(Latter part of this speech read directly at Van, 
who is extreme l. by desk.) 

Ralston, (c.) Mr. Van Dusen, Bishop Doran. 

Van. (l. Removing hat) Delighted to meet 
you, Bishop Doran. 

Bishop. Mr. Van Dusen. 

Ralston, (c.) Anything I can do for you, 
Bishop? 



NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH 7 

Bishop. Your daughter is the treasurer ofthe 
committee of which I am chairman — the committee 
which it to raise by subscription the money to build 
an addition to the Seaside Home for Children. 

Ralston. (Crosses to back of table c.) Yes, I 
know all about it. 

Bishop. I notice she has not approached you on 
the subject, and if I may make so bold I thought I 
would relieve her of that. You know, sometimes 
we don't like to ask members of our own family 
for money. 

Ralston. (Turning to Van,) I have never 
noticed that my family felt that way about it. 

Bishop. Well, I thought maybe it would be 
better for it to come from me. It is your intention 
to give us a donation, is it not? 

Ralston. No, sir! 

Bishop. Oh, pardon me, I'm sorry. 

Ralston. Evidently you haven't seen my daugh- 
ter since yesterday afternoon. 

Bishop. No, sir. (Ticker) 

Ralston. Well, then ! Last evening she tackled 
me for a subscription. It seems she has to raise 
forty-thousand dollars or more. 

Bishop. We shall use all of that. '(Stop ticker) 

Ralston. (Crosses c.) I told her that if she 
raised $20,000 before the end of the month I would 
double it ... or that I would double anything you 
raised above $20,000. 

Bishop. Most generous, I should say ! 

Ralston. So you can hardly expect me to con- 
tribute to a sum which I shall have to double as 
well. 

Bishop. Hardly. Of course, I didn't know of 
that. We are very gratified I assure you. 

Ralston. But you remember you must raise the 
$20,000 within five days ! ( Goes to desk) 



8 NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH 

Bishop. We shall do our utmost. 

Ralston. (Turning to Van. Sitting) I hope 
he fails. 

Bishop. I beg your pardon? 

Ralston. Nothing—nothing ! I believe in help- 
ing those who help themselves. 

Bishop. A wise observation. (Ticker) 

Ralston. You don't really have to start build- 
ing at once, do you ? Won't next spring do just as 
well? (Stop ticker) 

Bishop. (Crosses to rJ Oh, no, we have 
started, we must push right on. Thank you, Mr. 
Ralston, I will report your kind offer to the com- 
mittee. I am a poor man, but I realize what a won- 
derful joy must come from giving to others. (Exits 
right arch) 

Ralston. (Sits c.) I never knew a poor man 
that didn't believe in giving away money. 

Van. Maybe that's one reason why they're poor. 
(Crosses to r.) 

Dick. (Enter r. Puts hat on rack up R.j 
Hello. (Crosses to desk left) 

Van. Hello, Dick. (Van exits r.) 

Ralston. Mr. Donnelly, can you spare me a 
moment of your valuable time? 

Dick. Certainly, E. M., I didn't know you were 
here. 

Ralston. Well, someone has to be in the office 
to attend to business. ( Ralston sees the papers in 
Dick's hands, which consist of a check, business 
statement and an inventory) (Ticker) What's that 
stuff? 

Dick. Business. 

Ralston. What kind of business — add or sub- 
tract ? 

Dick. A little of both. ( Stop ticker) 

Ralston. What's that, a check? 



NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH 9 

Dick. Yes. 

Ralston. I'll take it. (Reaches over desk and 
takes it away from Dick) 

Dick. Just a moment, it's a mistake. 

Ralston. How is it a mistake? 

Dick. It's too much. 

Ralston. Is that all that's the matter with it ? 

Dick. Yes. 

Ralston. It's all right then. (Puts check in 
pocket) What's that? 

Dick. It's an agreement between the hotel peo- 
ple and the firm in regard to the new rugs in the 
corridor. 

Ralston. What have we got to do with it? 

Dick. They want you to read it. 

Ralston. Does it cost me anything? 

Dick. No. 

Ralston. Do we make any money out of it? 

Dick. No. 

Ralston. Then show it to me on a holiday. 
What do you think this is, a reading room ? What's 
this ? (Referring to other paper) The day's sales ? 
(Ticker) 

Dick. Yes. 

Ralston. Why haven't you sold any of this 
quick silver stock? 

Dick. Not a request for it. 

Ralston. Are you going to wait until they beg 
you for it? (Enter Bob Bennett, up r. c. Goes 
to stock ticker. Dick goes up stage and drops 
around L. Consults the quotation sheet down 
stage) 

Bob. Hello, E. M. 

Ralston. What're you doing in that other room ? 
Why aren't you out here attending to business? 

Bob. I don't want to meet Van Dusen. I hate 
him and I don't want to meet him. 



io NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH 

Ralston. (Stop ticker) (Yells) Come here, 
Bennett. 

Bor. (Going down to R. of desk) Don't yell at 
me like that. Whom do you think you're talking to, 
Dick? 

Dick. What? 

Ralston. (To Dick ) Shut up. Why haven't 
you fellows sold any of this quick silver stock? 

Bob. Fm waiting to find out what you're going 
to do with it. 

Ralston. Waiting! iWell, I'll have to keep it 
if you don't sell it. 

Bob. I mean are you going to develop it? I 
wouldn't sell it to any of my customers as it stands. 

Ralston. That's the way you feel about it. Just 
because you don't own any of it yourself, you won't 
try to sell it. I've got a hundred thousand dollars 
sunk in that mine and I've got to get it out. 

Bob. Just a moment, E. M. Just because you 
lost a hundred thousand dollars on a proposition 
and had to foreclose, that's no reason why your 
partners should have to peddle it out to customers 
who give us their confidence. 

Ralston. What's confidence for if you don't 
make capital out of it? 

Dick. I'd sell it if I got a bid for it. 

Bob. Well, I wouldn't until I knew something 
more about it. 

Ralston. You refuse to help me to get my 
money back? 

Bob. I'll help you as soon as I get a report on 
the property. 

Ralston. You know what Quick Silver is, don't 
you? It's a very valuable commodity. 

Dick. What is it used for? 

Bob. In this case, it was used to borrow a hun- 
dred thousand dollars on. 



NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH n 

Ralston. (Rising) You're a smart little fel- 
low, aren't you? 

Bob. My mother thinks so. (Goes up c.) 

Ralston. (Going to hat rack by door r., gets 
hat) I'm going to get shaved. (Turns to Bob,) 
You don't want to buy any of it yourself, do you? 

Bob. No, I don't want to change my mother's 
opinion. 

Ralston. Dick? 

Dick. No, I can't afford it. 

Ralston. (Slapping hat on head) Huh ! Busi- 
ness is terrible. (Exits right arch) 

Dick. (Sitting l. on table tl.) Do you think the 
old man will clear himself? 

Bob. I don't know. 

Dick. Let's help him out. We can sell some 
of it. 

Bob. I will as soon as I get a report. I've made 
up my mind, Dick, to sell actual values, things I 
believe in myself. fDiCK gives Bob a sharp look) 
Oh, I may not make as much money as the other 
fellows, but I think it will be a great deal better 
in the end. (Ticker) 

Dick. The end will come quicker than you ex- 
pect, if you try that method in our business. 

Bob. (Going up to stock ticker) I'm going to 
try it. 

Dick. Just because you're in love with the old 
man's daughter you can't afford to oppose him. 
By the way, when do you think of getting mar- 
ried? 

Bob. Constantly. (Exits up center doors. 
Voices off stage. Voices of the following char- 
acters heard outside, Mrs. Ralston, Gwen, Ethel 
and Van Dusen in arch) 

Mrs. Ralston. We can't stay but a moment. 

Ethel. Is Dickie here? 



12 NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH 

Van. Did you motor down ? (Enter Van first, 
Mrs. Ralston second, Gwen thrid, and Ethel 
fourth) (Goes c.) I found these charming ladies 
in the corridor. 

Mrs. Ralston. Hello, Dickie. (Crosses to 
r. c.) 

Dick. How do you do, Mrs. Ralston? (Mrs. 
Ralston crosses to l. Dick greets Gwen, then 
crosses to r., meets Ethel. Gwen stays c. Van 
crosses tq above desk) 

Ethel. Hello, Dickie! 

Dick. Hello, Ethel! 

Gwen. Where's Bob? 

Dick. He's in the stock room. ( Gwen goes up 
to doors c b..) 

Mrs. Ralston. (Seated at l. of desk l.) Dickie, 
did Gwen invite you down for the week end ? 

Dick. Why, no. 

Gwen. (By doors r. upper looking out) I 
haven't had the opportunity until now, mother, but 
you know you are invited, Richard. 

Dick. I'll be delighted to come, thank you. 

Ralston, (to Van who has crossed from r. to 
l. above table during the general greeting) And 
Mr. Van Dusen, can I persuade you to come with 
them? 

Van. (Above desk) I'm hot being invited sim- 
ply because I happen to be around, am I ? 

Mrs. Ralston. You know better than that. 

Van. I'll come anyway, and thank you. 

Mrs. Ralston. We have such a delightful sum- 
mer colony this season. Miss Clark's father has 
built there. 

Van. Oh, J. P. Clark? 

Mrs. Ralston. Yes. 
^ Ethel. And we have Bishop Doran in the old 
Curtis place. 



NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH 13 

Van. The Bishop? 

Ethel. And the Bishop has promised to take 
the pulpit at our little church one Sunday for 
Gwen's charity. 

Dick. That ought to draw them in. (*..) 

Mrs. Ralston. I don't know. Times have 
changed so. You can't drive people to church dur- 
ing" the summer. 

Van. Why pick on the summer? 

Mrs. Ralston, (l. of desk) Yes, and we've 
lost our music for Sunday service. 

Dick. That's too bad. ( rJ 

Mrs. Ralston, (l. of desk) Our choir boys 
are all caddies on the golf links. Our organist and 
tenor are working in a moving picture, and our 
soprano is up in the city singing in a cabaret. 

Van. They know where the money is. 

Ethel. But we hope that Bishop Doran's 
preaching will attract the people. 

Van. He was just here. 

Mrs. Ralston. (Rises) Bishop Doran ? Where 
did he go? 

Van. He might be in the ba — cafe. 

Ethel. Dickie, let's try to find him. (Exit arch 

r.; 

Dick. I'm thirsty anyway. (Exit arch rJ 

Van. (Crosses to r.) I've been thirsty for ten 
years. 

Mrs. Ralston. (Crosses to c.) The Bishop is 
so interested in Gwen's charity. I want to tell him 
that he should urge all our friends to give in pro- 
portion to what they have. 

Van. (*.) I have four dollars. " I'll give him 
ten per cent of that. (Exits r.) 

Mrs. Ralston. (Crosses to r. c.) It is not the 
amount, but the spirit in which it is given. Are 
you coming, dear? 



14 NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH 

Gwen. (Crosses to r. c.) No, mother, I'm go- 
ing to wait here for Bob. 

Mrs. Ralston. Very well, dear. I'll join Ethel. 
We must pay a great deal of attention to her. Her 
father is so influential. (Crosses to door. Enter 
Bob from stock room up c. Crosses down, greets 
Gwen,) 

Bob. Gwen ! 

Gwen. Robert ! Oh, mother, here's Robert. 

Mrs. Ralston. (Who is about to make an exit 
R. turns) Good afternoon, Robert. 

Bob. How are you, Mrs. Ralston. (Shakes 
hands with Mrs. RalstonJ 

Mrs. Ralston. Gwen, tell your father we are 
in the cafe. (Mrs. Ralston exits r. Gwen goes 
to r. arch and looks off) 

Bob. (r.) Don't go yet, please. 

Gwen (Sits in chair r. of table, pOB r. of 
Gwenj Oh, I'm not going. I wanted to see you 
alone. I need your help, Bob. 

Bob. (r.) I'm entirely at your service. 

Gwen. It's very important, and you must prom- 
ise me that you won't say a word about it to any- 
one. 

Bob. (r.) You know that I would not repeat 
anything you told me in confidence. 

Gwen. I want you to do me a favor. It's about 
business and you're the only one I can trust to 
help me. 

Bob. Of course, I'll help you, Gwen; but your 
father is the business man here. 

Gwen. I consider you the smartest man in the 
firm. 

Bob. Would you mind telling your father that? 

Gwen. No, I'd tell him in a minute. 

Bob. Well? 

Gwen. Father and Dick must not know that I 



NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH 15 

have talked with you. They must not dream that 
we are going to be partners. 

Bob. Oh, are we going to be partners? 

Gwen. Yes. (Takes ten one thousand dollar 
bills from her handbag) Do you see these? 

Bob. (Putting hand to his eyes in a dazed way) 
Money, isn't it? 

Gwen. Yes, what did you think it was? 

Bob. Is that a thousand dollar bill ? 

Gwen. Ten of them. One — two — three 

Bob. Don't count. We're partners. Come over 
to my office. Don't drop any on your way over. 
Pardon me, partner — (Leads Gwen from chair 
r. cross stage to chair r. of l. of table. Bob sits 
chair back of table) — for not realizing at once the 
importance of this conversation. Now what can 
I do for you? 

Gwen. I'm so upset I don't know what I'm 
doing. I've had these four days. It's been in two 
banks, in my safety deposit vault, under my pillow, 
in my stock — (Catches herself on word stocking)-*— 
I beg your pardon, I'm awfully worried. 

Bob. How can you possibly worry with ten thou- 
sand dollars? 

Gwen. It's not enough. I want you to invest 
it for me. 

Bob. No, you mean you want the firm to invest 
it? 

Gwen. No, no. I told you, father and Dick 
must know nothing about it. I must make a lot of 
money quickly and I think speculation is the best 
way. 

Bob. It is — if you win. 

Gwen. I must win. I can't lose, for it's not my 
money. 

Bob. Not your money? 

Gwen. No. 



16 NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH 

Bob. Whose money is it? 

Gwen. Everybody's. 

Bob. Everybody's? Maybe they'll worry. 
Gwen, where did you get this money? 

Gwen. Well, you see I am treasurer of the com- 
mittee which is to raise by subscription the money 
for our new seaside home for children. 

Bob. You have $10,000. What more do you 
want? Isn't that enough? Why invest it? 

Gwen. Because father told me if I raised 
$20,000 before the end of the month, and that's only 
five days off, he'll double it. Don't you see, I can't 
fail now. It would be terrible to have to return 
this money. 

Bob. Well, possibly if I invest it you won't have 
to return it. 

Gwen. Yes, that's what I thought. You see, 
I'm not asking very much. You'll only have to 
double it, that's all. 

Bob. Yes, that's all. Just a moment, let me see 
if I have this right. You spoke so rapidly I don't 
know whether I understood you or not. Now, as 
I understand it, all you want me to do is double 
your $10,000. 

Gwen. Yes. 

Bob. Yes, you see I was right; that's what I 
thought you said. 

Gwen. And Bob, I want you to do it as quickly 
as possible. 

Bob. I'll do it right away. 

Gwen. (Rises) Of course, there is one terrible 
aspect to it. 

Bob. Which one is that? 

Gwen. Well, it's not my money, and it's not 
yours, and if it's lost, we'll have to replace it out 
of our own pockets. 

Bob. I knew it was something like that. Out 



NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH 17 

of our own pockets! That's a point to consider. 
You may not care to incur that risk. 

Gwen. Ah, but if you invest it there is no risk. 
You're too smart to lose and you must win for my 
sake, Bob. 

Bob. Let me see if Fve got this straight? If I 
win this money will you let me speak to your father 
about us? 

Gwen. Yes. (Looks for money) What did I 
do with that money? (Sees it on desk, dashes for 
same) You'd better take this before I lose it. 

Bob. Give it to me, and let me worry. That's 
a lot of money to carry around. I seldom do it. 
(Looks at money and straightens it out. Starts to 
put it in pocket, stops) I hate to muss it up. 
(Doubles money) That's one way of doubling it. 
J'Gwen laughs — taking step r. Bob puts money in 
pants pocket. Takes a few steps toward r. to see 
how it feels. Takes it out. Starts to put it in other 
pants pocket, but doesn't, then feels in his upper 
right vest pocket, but doesn't, then over to left the 
audience can get the flash of a one dollar bill against 
the ten thousand; then feels in the left upper 
vest pocket to see if he had a hole in it. As 
Bob has pulled out the lining of pocket, Gwen 
speaks) 

Gwen. ( r. c.) Which pocket are you going to 
keep it in? 

Bob. (c.) I think it would look well in here, 
don't you? (Puts money in left upper vest 
pocket) 

Gwen. (r. c.) Yes, don't get it mixed up with 
your money. 

Bob. (c.) I won't. If I ever see this with my 
money, I'll recognize it. (Ready Phone) 

Gwen. (r. c.) Now tell me, how many days 
will it be before I get my twenty thousand? 



18 NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH 

Bob. ( c.) I'll have to think it over. 

Gwen. (r. c.) Surely, by the end of the week. 
It must be. 

Bob. (c.) Well, if it must be that's the way it 
will be. 

Gwen (l. to door r.) Now call me up the very 
moment you get my money for me, and oh, Bob, 
you don't realize how happy you have made me! 
("Bob starts to embrace Gwen, just as Ralston 
enters from r. Ralston places his hat on the hat 
rack at door R. up. Bob has his arms extended in 
the position of an embrace. They realize that Ral- 
ston has caught them. Gwen quietly exits right. 
Bob goes up to chair r. and measures it with his 
arms extended, saying aloud for the audience, but 
presumably to himself:) 

Bob. I think that will be large enough. (Meas- 
ures it then makes an exit r. with arms still ex- 
tended. Ralston looks after them, humors the 
situation and then — PHONE BELL) 

Ralston. (Phone bells rings. Goes to desk) 
Hello! Who? J.P.Carter? Put him on. Hello, 
Joe. What is it? Yes — yes — yes — everything is 
all right. I attended to that this morning. Oh, by 
the way, Joe, I want to explain something to you. 
Has my daughter Gwen been to see you? Oh, she 
hasn't. Now listen, Joe. She's in a charity scheme 
and I have agreed to double any amount they raised 
over $20,000. When she gets to you just explain 
to her that you can't donate anything at present. 
I don't want to get stuck on that promise of mine. 
Yes, do that. All right, fine! Eh! Golf! Oh, 
poker! Sure, I'll play all day Sunday. Good-bye. 
(Hangs up receiver. Enters Dick r.) Has my 
wife left yet? 

Dick. (Crosses to desk) They are just about 
to leave with Bishop Doran. (Extreme L.) 



NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH 19 

Ralston. (Crosses to door l. 1) Are you going 
to give anything" to Gwen's charity? 

Dick. I'm going to give seven or eight thousand 
dollars. 

Ralston. What ? 

Dick. Behave (Exits Ralston l. into pri- 
vate office l. 1. e. Enter Mabel and Sabel r. 
arch) 

Sabel. (1st to c.) This is the place, Mabel, and 
here's Mr. Donnelly. 

Mabel. (Crossing to center, to Dick l. c. front 
of desk. Sabel r.) Well, if it isn't little Dickie, 
and you were standing right here waiting for us ! 

Dick. How are you? 

Sabel. We were in the cafe. 

Dick. Why didn't you send for me? 

Mabel. Is this a stag office? 

Dick. Well, not exactly, but during business 
hours you know 

Sabel. (Crosses to c.) Well, we're here on 
business. 

Mabel. I'll tell you why we called. A gentle- 
man friend of mine gave me a hundred shares of 
stock and I want to sell it to you. 

Dick. What is it? 

Mabel. It's a company that going to take gold 
right out of the ocean. 

Dick. We don't handle that style of stock, 
Mabel. 

Sabel. Well, the idea! 

Mabel. It's perfectly good, my gentleman friend 
said I'd get dividends and everything. (Enter 
Van r., crosses to center, sees the girls, turns and 
starts to exit) 

Van. (Crosses to r.J My mistake. 
Mabel. Well if it isn't Old-One-Seat-on-the- 
Aisle ! 



20 NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH 

Sabel. Hello ! 

Van. Mabel and Sabel. How in the world did 
you get here? Aren't you working? 

Sabel. We never work in the summer, but we 
tried out a vaudeville act for next season. (Sits 
chair r.) 

Dick. How long did you play? 

Mabel. One night. The manager said it was 
too refined, but I am so glad we did it. It gave us 
so much confidence. (Sits on desk L.J 

Van. You needed that. ( c.) 

Dick. Mabel, bring that stock in tomorrow about 
noon time. 

Mabel. Will you be here then ? 

Dick. Yes. 

Mabel. Well, as long as this is a stag office, 
little Mabel is going to have a cigarette. 

Dick. Not here, Mabel. 

Mabel. Well, why not? 

Dick. Wait until you get back into the cafe. 
(Crosses back of table l.J 

Mabel. Indeed, I wouldn't smoke in a cafe. 
You never can tell what the waiters will think. 
(Enters Ralston from left. Sees the two girls, 
starts to exit h.) 

Sabel. (Rises) Oh, there's Mr. Ralston. I've 
seen your picture in the papers so many times. 

Mabel. THE Mr. Ralston is much older than 
you are. 

Ralston. (Crosses to l. corner of desk lJ How 
are you all. 

Mabel. I do believe you are Mr. Ralston. What 
do you think. They tell me I can't smoke. 

Ralston. Who said so? You couldn't smoke? 
(At desk) 

Mabel. Richard. 

Ralston. You can smoke if you want to. 



NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH 21 

Mabel. Fine, have you a match? 

Ralston. Yes. 

Mabel. Would you mind lighting this for 
me? 

Ralston, (l.) Delighted. 

Van. I love her work. (Enters Bob from r., 
drops down extreme r. and sees Ralston lighting 
Mabel's cigarette) 

Sabel. (r.) Here's a customer. 

Van. (c.) He's only a partner. (Ready Phone) 

Sabel. Oh, is he? 

Bob. (With cigar) Not Izzie, Bob. You don't 
mind my smoking, ladies? 

Mabel. No, not at all, go right ahead. 

Sabel. Oh, someone ought to take us back into 
the cafe. We left our check on the table. (Simul- 
taneously Bob turns and goes up r. Dick goes up 
c. Ralston goes to the stock board, down L.j 

Mabel. I want Mr. Ralston to come with us. 

Ralston. Sorry, but I'm too busy. 

Dick. Van will take you. 

Van. Who must be done, must be done. 

Sabel. What ? 

Van. Come along, chick. I haven't been so ex- 
cited in years. (Exits with Mabel r. Mabel 
crosses from l. to r.) 

Mabel. Well, I'm sorry I'll have to walk right 
out of your little office. I must have at least one 
more dance. (Business of swaying body, hums tune 
la da da li la da da di) Good bye, Cutie. (Exits 
r., blows a kiss to Ralston and exits r.) 

Bob. (r. as Ralston turns he meets Bob face 
to face) How long has this thing been going on, 
Cutie? 

Ralston. Shut up. (Crosses to desk l.) No 
wonder you can't sell any stock for me. Suppose 
they had come in here a moment ago. 



22 NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH 

Dick, (l.) That's the first time they were ever 
here. I met them the other night at a party. 

Ralston. Suppose the Bishop had been here, or 
my wife, Gwen or Miss Clark. You know, people 
are selfish, they think only of that which interests 
themselves. Take this quick-silver stock, for in- 
stance. It should be handled as though it be- 
longed to the firm. You two boys should help me 
get rid of it. 

Bob. Do you think it's any good? 

Ralston. Do you think it's any good? That 
isn't the question. You've got to sell it for me. 

Dick, (l.) Mean to. I'm after it the first thing 
in the morning. 

Ralston. Well, it's high time you did. I'll 
begin right now to show you how it's done. 
(Pause) (At phone) Get me the Harbor Trust 
Company, Mr. Marshall. (Hangs up receiver) 
You've got a lot to learn. 

Bob. (Crosses to r. c.) Lot to learn. He 
doesn't know anything. (To Dick) 

Ralston. Yes, and you too, Bennett. Come 
back here, Bennett. (Bennett starts for doors up 
R. c.) Come here, Bennett, I want you to hear this, 
too. Sit down and listen to me. I'll show you 
how to sell stock. (Bennett drops down and sits 
in chair r.J Quick-silver is a very valuable com- 
modity. (Short Phone) Hello. Oh, Mr. Marshall. 
How'd you like to make some money? Well, I 
thought I'd ask you, you never can tell. I have a 
stock that is absolutely A-i, and it's a shame to sell 
it to the public. It's quick-silver. (Seated back of 
desk) It's sure to advance in a few days and you'll 
double your money. It's three and a half a share 
now. I figured your allottment at five thousand 
shares. All right. I'll send your certificate over at 
once. Don't thank me. Good-bye. (Hangs up re- 



NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH 23 

ceiver. Turns to Dick who is at l. of table) Dick, 
make out this certificate. Send it over to Mr. Mar- 
shall, and get his check. That's the way to sell it. 
Tell them about it. 

Dick. (l. sits) You're a wonder. 

Ralston. (In phone) Get me Mr. Hadley. 
(Ready phone) 

Bob. (Desk) Say, E. M., do you really believe 
in this quick-silver mine? (Crossing to r. of desk 
above it) 

Ralston. Certainly. 

Bob. Do you think an investment in this stock 
would double itself in a few days? 

Ralston. It's been done. 

Bob. (Feeling the money that Gwen has given 
him) Well, I've got a little money I'd like to turn 
over quickly. 

Ralston. You mean for yourself? 

Bob. Yes. 

Ralston. Keep off of this. I don't know any- 
thing about it, but I've got to sell it. ( Bob drops 
around and sits in chair r. of desk. Dick has made 
out the certificate and exits r. c.) (To Bob) You 
don't expect to find an investment that will double 
your money in two or three days, do you? 

Bob. No, but I'd like to. 

Ralston. We'd all like to. 

Bob. You told Marshall he'd double his money. 
(Phone bell rings) (Short Phone) 

Ralston. Yes, and that's what I'm going to tell 
Hadley. (Ralston takes receiver off phone) (Enter 
Dick r. c. Comes l. of desk) Hello, Mr. Hadley. 
How would you like to make some money? Well, 
I just thought I'd ask you, you never can tell. I 
have a stock that is absolutely A number 1, and it's 
a shame to sell it to the public. 

Bob. It's a shame to sell it to anybody. (Ral- 



24 NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH 

ston repeats the same business of covering mouth- 
piece) 

Ralston. It's quick-silver, Sulphur Bank Mine, 
New Mexico, three and a half a share, now. If 
you'll hold the line a minute, I'll let you know how 
much I can let you have. (Next line spoken as if 
Bennett was in another room) Oh, Mr. Bennett. 

Bennett. Yes. Well ? 

Ralston. Don't sell that last block of stock, I 
want to hold it for Mr. Hadley. (Phone Ready) 

Bob. All right, I'll put it right here. (Makes 
movement as if he's placing stock on table — ink 
stand) 

Ralston. Hello, Mr. Hadley? I can let you 
have eight thousand shares, that's all, Hadley. All 
right, I'll send you a certificate over at once. Don't 
thank me. Good-bye. (Hangs tip receiver) Dick, 
make out this certificate. Send it over to Mr. Had- 
ley, and get his check. 

Bob. Get anything else you see around the office. 

Ralston. Seventeen thousand five hundred and 
twenty-eight thousand is forty-five thousand five 
hundred dollars. There's no doubt but it's a great 
little mine. 

Dick. Isn't it wonderful ? E. M. is the greatest 
salesman in New York. 

Ralston. The trouble with you boys is that you 
wait for your customers to figure out what they 
want. You should figure out what they ought to 
want and make them want it whether they do or 
not. Now, I'll sell J. P. Clark. 

Bob. (Disgustedly) Sell it all to him and get 
this off our minds. ( Dick exits r.) 

Ralston. (Into phone) Hello, get J. P. Clark. 
Say that E. M. Ralston wants to talk to him. 
(Hangs up) If I can sell Clark, the rest is easy. 
The public is crazy to follow his lead. 



NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH 25 

Bob. I think it is, too. ("Dick enters, crosses to 
l. of desk) 

Ralston. He should want ten thousand shares. 
(Two good rings on phone) Great invention, the 
telephone. You don't have to look a man in the 
eye. (Takes up phone) Hello, is this you, Mr. 
Clark? (Brusquely) Oh, his secretary? Well, 
tell Mr. Clark that E. M. Ralston called him up. 
IVe got a sure thing for him. Quick-silver mine 
— Sulphur Bank. Bargain counter price. It's a 
wonderful mine. (Repeat the same business of 
calling to Bennett, only this time much louder) 
Oh, Mr. Bennett. 

Bob. Yes. 

Ralston. Don't sell that last block of stock. I 
want to hold it for Mr. Clark. 

Bob. All right. I'll put it back here. 

Ralston. (Into phone) I didn't intend that 
you should hear that, but tell J. P. I'll hold it for 
him anyway and have him call me up the minute 
he comes in. Don't forget. Good-bye. (Hangs 
up) He's not in, but he'll buy. See what I can do 
in two or three minutes ? 

Dick. (Left of table) It's marvelous. 

Ralston. I've got to do it. 

Bob. (Rises, goes c.) Of course you can sell 
it if you tell people it's a wonderful mine and that 
the stock is sure to go up. If they believe you are 
telling the truth, they'll buy. 

Ralston. How do you know it isn't a wonder- 
ful mine? How do you know the price won't ad- 
vance? It sells well, doesn't it? 

Bob. Under the conditions — Yes. (Enter Van 
from r. Stay R.j 

Ralston. Hello, Van. 

Dick. Did you get rid of them? 

Van. I'm here. 



26 NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH 

Bob. How are you, Van ? I am awfully pleased 
to see you back. (Bob crosses to extreme r. and 
shakes hands. Rubs his hands together as if to 
wash away the handshake. He then sits in chair R.J 

Ralston. (Takes check out of his vest pocket, 
looks at it. The intent from now on in this scene 
is that he is going to hook Van J Good Lord! I 
don't know what to do with all this money. It's 
signed by J. P. Clark and he's going to make a 
world of money out of that stock. 

Van. (Crosses to desk. Crossing from R. to 
l. c. by desk) What's Clark buying now, E. M.? 

Ralston. (Seated back of desk) Oh, you 
wouldn't be interested. 

Van. How do you know I wouldn't? 

Ralston. Well, I really don't know. 

Van. Is it safe? 

Ralston. Do you think J. P. Clark would buy 
it if it wasn't safe ? 

Van. (Crossing back to center) Of course, if 
you figure me the kind of a customer who is not 
to be let in on the good things, I suppose it's all 
right. 

Ralston. Oh, I'd like to have you in, all right, 
but it's a promotion stock and I didn't think that 
you would want it. 

Van. I want anything that will make money, 
don't I? 

Ralston. (Rising) Do you want to make some 
money ? 

Van. Oh, no — I came here to play marbles. 

Ralston. (Crosses to Van J Sulphur Bank — 
quick-silver mine — three and a half a share. You 
can have two thousand shares, no more, no less. 
Take it or leave it. Snap judgment. 

Van. I'll take it. 

Ralston. (Stands back of desk) All right. Sit 



NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH 27 

here. (Indicating chair R. of table l. c.) Dick, 
make out this certificate, seven thousand dollars. 
Now, Van, the only way I can guarantee you this 
stock, is to have your check certified. (Van gives 
Ralston a look) This stock is a trifle oversold, 
and someone is going to get left. Naturally the 
cash transactions come first. I just mention this 
to you. 

Van. (r. of desk — Dick l. of desk. Van has 
been writing out his check for $7,000, finishes) I 
want it if it's a protection. (Rises) I bank at the 
hotel, it won't take me a minute. ( Crosses to right) 
Bob, you're a witness to this transaction. (Exits rJ 

Ralston. I have been trying to hook him for 
five years. 

Bob. I don't mind what you do to him. I think 
it would be much better to represent the stock as it 
is and let the customer choose for himself. 

Ralston. (Coming around, and sits r. of desk) 
I didn't misrepresent it, did I? 

Bob. (Crosses to c.) Yes, you did. You told 
me to keep off. You told Van Dusen that Clark 
had bought. 

Ralston. Well, he will buy. Do you want to 
bet he won't? 

Bob. No. 

Ralston. I sold Marshall and Hadley without 
mentioning Clark. 

Bob. But you told them it was a great mine. 

Ralston. Well, I hope it is. I've got a hundred 
thousand dollars tied up in it. I've got to think it's 
great. If I can sell a hundred and fifty thousand 
dollars' worth of stock I can spend fifty thousand 
dollars, and maybe I'll strike it. If I do, they'll 
win. 

Bob. I know, but as it stands now, the mine is 
no good. 



28 NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH 

Ralston. If you want to know the truth, it's 
no good at all. The stock isn't worth the paper it's 
printed on. (c, rising and coming c.) But there's 
quick-silver in New Mexico somewhere and some- 
one is liable to find it. I've told many a lie I've 
had come true. A lie is just as good as the truth 
if the result is all right. Profit is the only thing 
in business and in our business, and profit is imagi- 
nation, and imagination is seldom the truth. It's 
what you hope for. The world doesn't believe the 
truth. It didn't believe there was an America for 
Columbus to discover. It didn't believe that Alex- 
ander Bell had a telephone any more than they 
thought Cyrus Field could lay the Atlantic cable, 
and those fellows were telling the truth all the time 
and were considered crazy. I tell you, there are 
certain necessary business lies. 

Bob. I don't believe it. 

Ralston. You don't believe it? 

Bob. No. 

Ralston. Do you like Van Dusen? 

Bob. I hate him. 

Ralston. Two minutes ago you shook him by 
the hand and told him you were glad to see him, 
didn't you? 

Bob. Yes. 

Ralston. You didn't mean it, did you? 

Bob. No. 

Ralston. Then that was a lie. 

Bob. Well, if you call a thing like that a lie, cer- 
tainly. He's a customer. That's business. 

Ralston. That's exactly what I mean. There 
are certain necessary business lies. 

Bob. Well, I don't agree with you, E. M. I 
think a business man can get along just as well 
by telling the absolute truth. (Sits r. of desk) 

Ralston. You mean about everything? 



NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH 29 

Bob. Yes. 

Ralston. All the time? 

Bob. Yes. 

Ralston. Ha, ha. My boy, there's nothing the 
matter with you, except you're crazy. (Enters Van 
right with check he has had certified. Stands down 
r. Bob seated in chair R. of desk) You couldn't 
tell the truth for one day. 

Van. (r.) Has he been lying again ? ("Bob bus.) 

Ralston. (Crosses behind desk) No, I've been 
telling Bob that he couldn't tell the truth, the abso- 
lute truth, for one day and retain any friends or 
do any business. 

Van. (Crossing to center. Ralston seated back 
of table) I suppose if a man set out to tell the 
truth for a whole day that before night someone 
would kill him. 

Bob. Yes, I think I could tell the truth indefi- 
nitely. 

Dick. (Seated on l. edge of desk) Do you 
mean to say you could truthfully answer every ques- 
tion put to you, no matter what it was? 

Bob. I certainly do. 

Van. (c.) When I was nine years old, I told 
my mother the truth about something that hap- 
pened at school. What happened at home cured 
me. 

Ralston. Why, my boy, as modern society is 
constituted it is as impossible to live without lying 
as it is to do business without deception. (On the 
word deception, Van hands Ralston his certified 
check. Ralston takes the certificate which Dick 
has made out and placed on the right-hand side of 
desk so Ralston can get it easily, hands it to Van. 
This piece of business must be done on the word 
"deception" ) 

Van. He's right, (c, puts certificate in pocket} 



30 NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH 

Ralston. It's too bad we have to admit it, but 
it's the truth. 

Dick. I agree with you. 

Ralston. We're brought up that way. Parents 
tell their children that Santa Claus comes down the 
chimney — in a steam-heated flat. Little Mary is 
told that the stork is going to bring her a baby 
brother. She sits for hours at the window watch- 
ing for it to come, and then they tell her it came 
in the door while she was asleep. You meet Smith 
on the street in the morning. You say, "I hope 
you slept well?" That's a lie. You don't care a 
damn if he never sleeps. 

Bob. That may be . . . but it's not the best way 
or the right way. 

Ralston. Ah ! I didn't say it was the best way 
or the right way, but I did say you can't get along 
if you persist in telling the truth to everyone. 

Dick. (Sits on desk l.) The truth hurts peo- 
ple, an attractive lie sounds infinitely better than a 
mere statement of truth. 

Ralston. Yes. The lawyer tells his client he 
will win. The doctor tells his patient he'll get 
well. 

Van. The minister tells his congregation they 
will go to heaven. It isn't the truth, but it's what 
they want to hear. 

Ralston. And every divorce gives the lie to — 
"Wilt thou love, honor and cherish her, forsaking 
all others, keep thee only unto her as long as ye 
both shall live." 

Van. I will. 

Ralston. That's what they all say, I will. But 
you'd break up the whole party if you told the 
truth and said I think I will. (Sits) 

Dick. They lie in every line of business. De- 
partment stores misrepresent their bargain sales, 



NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH 31 

newspapers their circulation, banks their surplus, 
because business demands an attactive statement. 

Ralston. (In chair. Van c. standing) It took 
old Dr. Cook just one hour to convince the King 
of Denmark that he had discovered the North Pole, 
but it required two years for Lieutenant Peary to 
convince the Geographical Society of the same fact, 
and he was telling the truth. (r. c.) And when 
Bryan said "Good-bye, good luck, God bless you M 
to Wilson, do you think he was telling the truth? 

Bob. Well, I'm entitled to my opinion. I still 
think you can tell the truth. 

Van. Who, me? 

Bob. No, I know you couldn't tell the truth. I 
mean that I can tell the truth. ("Van goes up stage 
and then drops around extreme r.) 

Dick. For how long? 

Bob. If I can tell the truth for one hour, I see 
no reason why I couldn't tell it for one day or one 
year. (Van to r. of Bob,) 

Ralston. You don't really believe that, do you? 

Bob. I do. 

Ralston. Did you ever try it? 

Bob. No. 

Ralston. Well, I'd be willing to bet you any- 
thing you like that you couldn't tell the absolute 
truth for twenty- four hours. 

Bob. (r., crosses c.) I would bet you on that. 

Ralston, (c, rising, coming center) Well, I'll 
tell you how I feel about it. I'll bet you five thou- 
sand dollars, ten thousand, fifteen thousand — as far 
as you want to go. 

Bob. (Hand on pocket) You mean, you'll bet 
me money, real money, that I can't tell the truth for 
twenty-four hours? 

Ralston. Yes, sir. 

Bob. You will? (Smiling) 



p NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH 

Ralston. (Turns l. to Dick. Van r. stage) 
That's what I said. (Tarns to Dick who is in front 
of table down l. end. Bob takes the ten thousand 
dollars out of his pocket after a few moments' 
pause, then he starts towards Ralston, who has his 
back to him. Then he takes a few steps; hesi- 
tates, undecided, then turns and walks to l. c, think- 
ing it over again to be sure that he's right. He 
turns again, and as he does, his eye falls on the 
picture of Washington which is hung up c. between 
the two windows. He slowly walks up stage, with 
his back to the audience, and looks at Washington 
with the idea that "He did it, I can." Turns, comes 
down stage to c. Ralston still has his back to him 
in conversation with Dick. Van is over extreme r. 
reading over the stock certificate that Ralston has 
sold him. No one must look at Bob or audience 
during this piece of business) 

Bob. (Comes down r. c.) Say, E. M., if you 
are really serious about that proposition, I'll make 
you a little bet that I can tell the truth for twenty- 
four hours. 

Ralston. You will? 

Bob. Yes. 

Ralston. How much will you bet? 

Bob. I'll bet you — (Coughs, then whispers) — : 
Ten thousand dollars. 

Ralston. How much? 

Bob. I'll bet you ten — (Coughs) — ten thousand 
dollars. 

Ralston. Do you mean that? 

Bob. Yes. 

Dick. Stop it — stop it. (Walks down L. two 
steps) 

Van. He's bluffing. 

Ralston. Where's your ten thousand dollars? 

Bob. I've got it. 



NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH 33 

Van. (Crossing to Bob, right of him) Where? 
Bob. I'll get it out — I'll get it out. (Ralston 
goes next to Bob at c. Dick l. of Ralston^ 
Ralston. I see it — I see it. 
Dick. Ten thousand dollars. 
Van. It's real, isn't it ? , 

Ralston, (l. c.) Just a moment, now, jus? a 
moment. Let me get this straight so there'll be no 
argument. You say you'll bet ten thousand dollars 
that you will tell the absolute truth for twenty-four 
hours ? 

Bob. (c. Whispers) Yes. 
Ralston. You will tell the truth to everyone, no 
matter what they ask you? 
Bob. Yes. 

Ralston, (l. c. After a long pause) All right. 
If you want to make that kind of a bet, I'll take 
it. I'll bet you ten thousand dollars you can't tell 
the absolute truth for twenty-four hours. 

Dick, (l.) And I'll bet you five thousand dol- 
lars more. 

Bob. No — I just want to bet ten thousand dol- 
lars. 

Van. Wait — I've got to have some of this. 
(Van crosses from r. to above table l. Dick goes 
to left of table. Ralston l. c. Bob c.) 

Dick. (Turns to desk) I'm not going to be left 
out. 

Ralston. This is my bet, I want it all. 
Van. I was here. 

Ralston. I saw him first, (c.) (Pats Bob on 
back. Bob smiles) 

Dick. (l. ) I want half of it. 
Van. (Back of desk) Where do I come in? 
Ralston, (l. c. To Dick,) Well, you can have 
a thousand. (To Van ) You can have a thousand. 
I'll take eight thousand. 



34 NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH 

Van. I want five thousand. 

Ralston. Do you want me to give up a cinch 
bet? (To Bob ) Would you give up part of a bet 
you were sure of winning? (Bob tries to speak but 
can't) Neither will I. ( Bob walking toward chair 
R. c.) You're not going, are you? 

Bob. No, I only want to rest. (Sits in chair 
R. c.) 

Dick. You've got to divide it between us. 

Van. I want a third of this. 

Ralston. Well, all right, are you willing to let 
us split it three ways? 

Bob. I don't care how you split it, so long as I 
get the ten thousand dollars. 

Van. So long, ten thousand, is right. 

Ralston. (Crosses l. to desk) You'll get the 
ten thousand all right. 

Dick, (.l) If you tell a lie when you're away 
from me, you must confess. 

Van. (c. of desk) Don't worry, he won't get 
very far away from me. I'm going to sleep with 
him. 

Bob. (Rises, come J c.) Well, if you gen- 
tlemen want to bet, stop talking — put up your 
money. 

Ralston, (r. of desk) We will. Dick, make 
out your check for thirty-three hundred. Make one 
for me for thirty-four hundred. Van, you take 
thirty-three hundred. 

Van. Right. This is the first crooked thing I've 
ever done. Let's get down to terms. (Starts to 
write in memo book) You agree to tell the unadul- 
terated truth for twenty- four hours? 

Bob. Yes. 

Van. (Writing) You will answer all questions 
truthfully ; if you refuse, you lose the bet. 

Bob. Yes. 

* • 



NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH 35 

Van. He won't live twenty-four hours. But, 
however 

Dick. And you can't run away and hide or shut 
yourself up where you won't see anyone. 

Bob. Yes. 

All. WHAT? 

Bob. No. 

Ralston. We'll be with him until he loses. 

Van. You must go on in the even tenor of your 
way. 

Ralston. Put down "even tenor" of his way, 
and write "tenor" with a capital T. 

Bob. (l. to c.) Yes, and put down this condi- 
tion. 

Ralston. What? Is it 

Bob. If anyone tells of the bet, or hints of it, 
that side loses the bet. One lose — all lose, on your 
side. 

Dick. (Rising) What's the idea of that? 

Bob. If you told people about it, they'd ask me 
a lot of questions, which they wouldn't ordi- 
narily. 

Dick. Well, I don't know that 

Van. I guess we can put that in. 

Ralston. Put it in. Let him put his picture in. 
(On the word "picture'* Bob turns and takes three 
steps up c, looking at Washington's picture) 

Van. (Writing) That comes under the "even 
tenor" clause. 

Ralston. He'll know more about that to-mor- 
row. (Crosses to Bob,) You don't want to raise it, 
do you? 

Bob. Bet more? No, that's all I waniE to bet 
to-day. 

Ralston. Yes ? 

Bob. I just want to bet the ten thousand dollars. 
( Ralston starts for chair r. of desk) Well, 



36 NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH 

where's your money? Remember, I want cash to 
cover this transaction. (All start) 

Ralston and Dick. Cash? 

Van. He talks exactly as if he was going to 
win. 

Ralston. (Sits in chair r. of desk, signs his own 
check, gets Dick's signed check, then hands there- 
to Van,) Van, you take these into your bank and 
have them cashed and get your money at the same 
time. 

Van. Right. (Crosses stage to right, does not 
speak until he gets to door) Don't ask him any 
questions until I get back. I want to see all of 
this. (Exit r.) 

Bob. I hate him worse than ever now. 

Ralston. Where did you get ten thousand dol- 
lars to throw away in this manner ? ( Bob in a con- 
fused manner walks to chair r. a, and with diffi- 
culty gets his foot on the rung of the chair, tries 
to assume a careless attitude) 

Bob. I'm not going to throw it away. I'm going 
to win this bet or die in the attempt. 

Ralston. That's the way to feel about it. 

Bob. That's the way I feel about it. Absolutely 
confident. I'll win, and the chances are that I will 
never tell another lie as long as I live. 

Ralston. Ha! Ha! Ha! 
.Bob. Ha! Ha! Ha! 

Dick. I suppose it's all right, if you can afford 
to lose ten thousand dollars. It's a lot of money. 
If it were someone else's coin, you might take a 
chance. (Bob looks worried on the last line "some- 
one else's coin" ) 

Ralston. Say, you'll talk us out of a good bet if 
you're not careful. If he thinks he can do it, and 
can afford it, it's all right. He might win. It's 
never been done, f>ut he might. 



NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH 37 

Dick. Who is going to be stakeholder? 

Bob. I know who'll want to be stakeholder. 
(Comes c.) Van Dusen, but he won't. We will 
put this in an envelope and put it in the hotel safe. 

Dick. All right, Bob. 

Ralston. That's satisfactory. 

Van. (Enters from r. with $10,000 in hand) 
Here's the Do-ra-me. I'll be stakeholder. 

Bob. No, we had a little talk about it while you 
were out. We decided to put it in an envelope and 
place it in the hotel safe. We can trust the safe 
and it will only be opened when the four of us 
are there. Is that satisfactory? (Takes money 
from Van. Goes up back of desk) 

Dick and Ralston. Yes. 

Van. All right. He likes to handle it. 

Ralston. Here, let me count it. (Bob hands 
him money he got from Van J Your money, I 
mean. 

Bob. Yes, and I'll count this. (Hands money 
from pocket) 

Ralston. (Counting money) There's only nine 
thousand here. 

Ralston. (Bob starts to search in his pockets 
quickly. Ralston counts the money again, and 
then says) No, it's all right, there's ten. (Bob al- 
most faints. Takes out his handkerchief, wipes his 
forehead, then his wrists) 

Bob. What's the trouble, E. M., can't you count? 
Ten there now? 

Ralston. Yes. 

Bob. We'll see. (Counts money) Eleven. 
(Business Ralston drums on desk) Don't drum, 
don't drum. (Picks up large envelope from 
desk. He is so nervous from fright that he 
can't put the money in it. Then finally turns 
to E. M.j who is seated right of desk, and says) 



38 NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH 

Hold that open, will you ? (Puts money in envelope 
as E. M. holds it open for him. As he lifts the 
envelope to seal it, Dick reaches out) What are 
you grabbing at? What do you want? I'll seal it. 
I'll seal it. (He licks the envelope and seals it. 
Makes a face as he wipes mucilage with back of his 
hand from his mouth. Puts the envelope on the 
desk and sits in chair back of desk) There you are. 
Here's your money. 

Ralston, (r. of desk) Now, we all understand 
the conditions. 

All. Yes. 

Bob. Yes. 

Ralston, (r. of desk) The absolute truth for 
twenty-four hours. 

All. Yes. 

Bob. Yes. 

Ralston. It's three minutes of four. (Every 
man pulls out his watch) 

Dick. (l. of d.) It's five minutes of four. 

Bob. I'm two minutes of four. 

Van. (r.) The right time is five minutes after 
four. 

Bob. (Picking up receiver) Give me Central, 
please. ('Ralston casually reaches over desk to 
pick up document. Bob thinks he is reaching for 
the money in the envelope, so he picks it up and 
puts it closer to him, showing that he does not 
trust Ralston ) Will you give me the correct time? 
Thank you. We're all wrong. It's four o'clock. 

Ralston. Well, set your watches, boys. (Pause) 
All set? 

All. Yes. 

Ralston. It's exactly four o'clock. The bet is 
on. Go. (On the word "go" Ralston slaps his 
hand on desk. Bob in his confusion knocks over 
the telephone, picks it up, adjusts it, gives Ralston 



NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH 39 

a hard look, gets up from chair, wipes his face, 
walks up stage, and goes to open revolving window. 
As he does so the shade flies up — trick shade, see 
diagram. Gives Bob a scare. Walks down stage, 
speaks, and picks up a duplicate empty envelope 
similar to the one that he has placed the money in. 
Thinks the money is gone, hastily looks through en- 
velope over desk and then discovers the real en- 
velope with money in it. Sits in swivel chair back 
of desk. As he does so he loses his balance, chair 
goes back with him, his feet strike under the desk 
and he just saves himself from falling. When he 
has come back, sits with his head leaning on his 
hand) 

Bob. As I understand it the bet started to-day 
at four o'clock, terminates to-morrow at four. This 
money ■ (Business wrong envelope or ar- 
ticle) 

Van. Say, Bob, if you do tell a lie, tell a good 
one, because it's going to cost you ten thousand 
dollars. 

Ralston. (To Bob ) When the car comes back 
for me I'm going to take you out home to stay 
all night. 

Bob. All night — if it's perfectly agreeable — I 
mean — I can't — I don't want to go. 

Ralston. You've got to go. The even tenor of 
your way. You have never refused before. 

Dick. You've got to go. And if you talk in 
your sleep, I'll listen to every word. 

Van. I'll be there. 

Bob. Very well, I'll go, if you insist upon it. 

Ralston. I do. 

Dick. Now, what will I ask him? 

Ralston. One moment, please, it's my turn. 
(Pause, thinking) Do you think you're good look- 
ing? 



4 o NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH 

Bob. (Quickly) Yes. (Humor this as it is a 
growing laugh) (Ready phone) 

Van. You lose. 

Bob. No, I don't lose. That's not a lie, it's an 
opinion. Now, if I said — (Designating Ralston ) 
— You were good looking — that would be a ter- 
rible 

Ralston. (Quickly) Well, we'll let it pass. 
(Warn) 

Dick. Now, it's my turn. The other day you 
told me that last year you made forty thousand 
dollars, is that the truth? 

Bob. No. 

Dick. Well, how much did you make? 

Bob. Well, I think that's a personal question, 
Dick. 

Dick. Never mind about it being personal. How 
much did you make? 

Bob. Twenty-two hundred dollars. 

Ralston. I've got one. Where did you get this 
ten thousand dollars? 

Van. Ah! 

Bob. (Pause) I got it. 

Ralston. I asked you where you got it. 

Bob. (Pause) I don't think I have to answer 
that. 

Dick. You most certainly do have to answer it. 

Van. If you refuse to answer you lose the bet. 
(Long pause) 

Ralston. Where did you get that ten thousand 
dollars ? 

Bob. (Long pause. Bob is cornered, he is just 
about to give up, when telephone bell rings. He 
grabs the phone) Hello. Who? Mr. Clark? J. 
P. Clark? Sulphur Bank— Quick-silver ? It's 
worthless, no good. Good-bye. (Hangs up re- 
ceiver) 



NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH 41 

Dick What did you tell that to Clark for? 

Ralston. I am ruined ! How dare you tell him 
that? 

Van. (Ad lib) I've been swindled. Give me 
back my check. 

Ralston. The bet is off. Why did you say 
that? 

Curtain 

(NOTE — The curtain must be run just as Bob, 
with money in his hand, raises it up in the atti- 
tude of taking the oath. Be sure that the 
audience hear the finish of the line) 

CALLS : 

1st — Four Men. 
2nd — Four Men. 
3rd — Bob Bennett. 



ACT II 

Scene: Parlor in summer home of E. M. Ral- 
ston, Long Island. 

Scene: Door r. i with interior backing; French 
door up Right Center with porch and awning 
outside, landscape drop beyond; Grandfather's 
clock between French door and stairway (this 
clock must be worked from behind by property 
man); Platform, one step high, at foot of 
stairway which runs up to door at top of flat l. 
with balustrade; Door L. 3 with interior back- 
ing; Mantle and fireplace 2. Table R. with 
chairs. Baby grand piano l. with settee in 
front of same. Telephone on piano. Furnish- 
ings and general scheme to be characteristic 
of a parlor in a wealthy country home. 

Discovered: Mrs. Ralston seated l. of table r. 
Bob seated on settee l. 
Dick sitting on table R. up. 
Ethel at piano, l. u. 
Curtain rises after the first bar of 
Ethel's song, "lust a little Love!' 
Clock sets at 1242. Music at rise. 
CLOCK. 

Mrs. Ralston. Exquisite, my dear, beautiful! 

Dick. I think it's simply immense! 

Ethel. (Rising and coming c.) Do you really 
think so? 

Mrs. Ralston. I most assuredly do, my dear, 
yowr voice has improved wonderfully. 

42 



NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH 43 

Ethel. Oh, I studied — and studied! Father 
spent — oh, I don't know how much with my teach- 
ers. 

Mrs. Ralston. It just proves what study will 
do. It shows what can be done. 

Dick. She plays so well, too. It's fortunate you 
can accompany yourself. 

Ethel. Oh, I sing much better if I have an 
accompanist ! 

Dick. Really? 

Ethel. Oh, yes. 

Dick. I think youVe got a remarkable voice. 
Don't you, Bob? 

Bob. What? (As if Bob had been thinking of 
something else, but it must be obvious to the au- 
dience that he heard the entire conversation) 

Dick. I say, don't you think Miss Clark has a 
beautiful voice? 

Bob. I'm not much of a judge. 

Mrs. Ralston. Indeed you are. (Turning to 
Ethel, who is still c.) He's a very good judge of 
music. 

Dick. Now tell us truthfully what you think of 
Miss Clark's voice. 

Bob. (After a moment's hesitation) I think the 
same as you think. 

Dick (Crosses to Bob ) Never mind what I 
think — You tell us truthfully what you think of 
her voice. 

Bob. I think it's terrible. (Ad lib — Ethel cry- 
ing) 

Mrs. Ralston. (Crosses to l. of Ethel. Ethel 
crosses c. This is a big situation and must be held 
for the laugh by Dick rJ Robert! Don't cry, 
Ethel, please don't cry. (Rises and quickly goes to 
Ethel, trying to console Ethel. Ethel is crying) 

Ethel. (Crying) Oh, dear. 



44 NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH 

Dick. (r. c.) Ethel — you don't understand — 
you didn't allow Bob to finish what he intended to 
say. He thinks it is terrible that you should waste 
your voice on that song. That's what he meant to 
say. 

Mrs. Ralston, (c.) Of course, we realize 
Robert didn't refer to Ethel's voice. Did you? 
(Business Bob nods yes) You complimented her 
voice the last time you heard her sing, Robert. 
(Turning to Robert, who is sitting lJ Robert's 
statement sounded strange and you jumped to con- 
clusions too quickly. 

Ethel, (c.) I hope so. 

Dick. Won't you play and sing something else 
for us ? 

Ethel. (Who has got control of herself but still 
must give the impression that she is about to cry 
any second. Nervous, embarassed and just a trifle 
hysterical) No, I don't think I had better. I don't 
feel very well to-day and I have to stop at the 
Rectory for mother. 

Mrs. Ralston. My dear Ethel, please do not cut 
your visit short on account of the misunderstand- 
ing. 

Dick. You are sorry if you said anything that 
hurt Miss Clark, aren't you, Bob? 

Bob. Miss Clark, you cannot dream, you cannot 
realize, how sorry I am if I have offended you. 
Please forgive me. 

Mrs. Ralston, (l. of c.) There, isn't that nice. 
(To Ethel) We never can tell how things are going 
to sound, but we should weigh everything carefully 
before we speak. (This latter part of speech read 
directly at Bob) 

Bob. I do. (Goes up l. of settee) 

Dick, (c.) Now we will all forget that any- 
thing has happened. 



NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH 45 

Ethel, (c.) Oh, I'm so quick to take things 
to myself. 

Mrs. Ralston, (c.) We all do that, dear. 
Now everything is all right, isn't it ? 

Ethel, (c.) Yes. 

Mrs. Ralston. ( c.) And^you don't really have 
to go? 

Ethel, (c.) Oh, maybe I can stay. 

Dick. (Crosses up around table to r.) Of 
course. 

Mrs. Ralston, (l. c.) Robert — Miss Clark 
has not seen our garden this summer. Will you 
show her about ? 

Bob. (l.) Certainly, I'd be delighted. 

Mrs. Ralston. (Crosses to r.) Put on your 
hat, Ethel, the sun is very hot. ( Ethel starts for 
the piano which is up l. stage, to get her hat. This 
hat must be of a peculiar shape, an extreme style, 
freakish) What a pretty dress, dear — turn around. 
( Ethel comes back and makes one turn for Mrs. 
R. Ethel is now c.) Oh, it's a pretty dress — 
isn't it, Dick? 

Dick, (r.) It's stunning. 

Mrs. Ralston, (l. of table) Don't you think 
so, Robert? 

Bob. (Coming down L.j Yes, I am very glad 
it's a pretty dress. 

Mrs. Ralston. And men are beginning to know, 
it seems. A sweet, pretty dress, dear. 

Ethel, (c. ) I like the dress, but I can't make 
up my mind about this hat. (Goes up to piano and 
gets hat off piano. Comes back c, puts hat on) 

Mrs. Ralston. Why not, dear. It's adorable, 
isn't it, Dick? 

Dick. It's a beauty, ask Bob. 

Ethel. Very well, just a minute — rnow, then, 
how do you like it? Well 



46 NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH 

Bob. Turn around so I can see the front. 

Ethel. This is the front. How do you like it? 

Dick. I'll make him tell. Tell her the truth: 
how do you like her hat? 

Bob. I think it's awful. ("Dick goes up R. laugh- 
ing) 

Mrs. Ralston. Robert Bennett, have you gone 
crazy ? 

Ethel. (Crying) Oh, dear. 

Mrs. Ralston. (Trying to console her) My 
child, Ethel ! 

Ethel. (Starting to go upstairs with Mrs. R. 
consoling her) Let me go home. I want to get 
away from here. 

Mrs. Ralston. My child, hush — dear — don't 
cry any — come with me. (Ad. lib.) 

Ethel. I'm sorry I came. (Exit with Mrs. Ral- 
ston upstairs L.) 

Bob. (Crosses to c, meets Dick J I've got a 
good mind to kill you. 

Dick. (r. c.) Is that so. Now, listen, I'll make 
you tell a lie if it's the last thing I do. 

Bob. It will be the last thing you do. (Crosses 

w 

Dick. (Follows Bob up) You'll be thrown out 
of the house for insulting Miss Clark. Her mother 
is the leader of the summer colony here. 

Bob. I don't think it's a fair way to win the bet. 

Gwen. (Enters from stairway l. u. e.) Please, 
I want to speak to Bob alone a moment. 

Dick. (Crossing from r. c. up to c. door) Cer- 
tainly ! Remember — Bob — remember ! (Dick 
exits) 

Gwen. (To R. c.) Mother says you insulted 
Ethel. I can't believe it, did you? 

Bob. (l. c.) Twice. 

Gwen. But why? 



NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH 47 

Bob. I had to. 

Gwen. Had to? 

Bob. Yes, I had to tell the truth. 

Gwen. But there's no reason for hurting peo- 
ple's feelings, whether it is the truth of not. There 
are such things as white lies. 

Bob. I know, hut they are not in the conditions. 

Gwen. Conditions ? What do you mean by con- 
ditions ? 

Bob. I mean there is no such thing as conditional 
truths. The truth is the truth. (Crosses to R., 
makes face) 

Gwen. (c, coming to Bob's r.J But there are 
some truths that we cannot tell without getting 
ourselves into a lot of trouble, didn't you know 
that? 

Bob. I know it now. 

Gwen. Bob, why didn't you go in to business 
to-day ? 

Bob. Your father asked me to stay down 
here. 

Gwen. And Dick? 

Bob. He wanted Dick to remain also. 

Gwen. Is it a holiday? 

Bob. (r.) Not for me. 

Gwen. Then why are you here? 

Bob. Because your father thought it would be 
safer. 

Gwen. Safer ? There's something strange about 
you. 

Bob. I know it, I know it. 

Gwen. I've never noticed it before. 

Bob. You see, it's been a terrible day for me. 
And a horrible night, too. I didn't sleep a wink all 
night. 

Gwen. Weren't you tired? 

Bob. Yes, I was very tired. But your father 



4$ NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH 

and Dick and Van Dusen kept me awake all night 
asking me questions. 

Gwen. (c.) About business? 

Bob. (r.) About everything. 

Gwen. Is there anything wrong with the firm? 

Bob.. There's a lot of things wrong with two of 
this firm. I'm all right, though. 

Gwen. Are you worried about business? 

Bob. No, it's not exactly business. 

Gwen. I didn't intend to ask you about my ten 
thousand dollars, but 

Bob. Then don't, please don't. 

Gwen. But I think you should be in the city 
watching it. When did you see it last? (Enters 
Dick from r. arch, walks over to table r. c. Gets 
newspaper) 

Dick. Pardon me. (Dick gives Bob a smile as 
if to indicate that he is watching every moment 
and exits through arch c.) 

Gwen. When did you see my money last? 
(Crosses to c.) 

Bob. (To her) Yesterday. 

Gwen. Where was that? 

Bob. (Looking around to see that Dick is not 
in sight) In the office. 

Gwen. What did you do with it ? 

Bob. I put it in an envelope. 

Gwen. What did you do with the envelope? 

Bob. (Go through business as if licking envelope) 
I sealed it up. 

Gwen. Then you didn't invest it? 

Bob. Yes, yes, I invested it. 

Gwen. Have you won ? 

Bob. No. 

Gwen. You haven't lost, have you? 

Bob. Not yet. 

Gwen. Not yet? Bob, what do you mean? 



NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH 49 

Bob. No, no, I haven't lost it, Gwen. I haven't 
lost it. 

Gwen. Oh, how you frightened me. (Enter 
Dick from r. arch with paper; puts it down on 
table again, starts to go off. Bob watching him) 

Bob. Anything I can do for you? 

Dick. No. 

Bob. There's something I'd like to do to you. 
( Dick exits, smiling, through r. arch) 

Gwen. You're not sure that you will win as you 
were. 

Bob. (Crossing from l. to l. c.) Yes I am — 
I'll win — I'll win for your sake. (Crosses to c L.J 

Gwen. Can you imagine what a dreadful thing 
it would be if we lost ten thousand dollars? 

Bob. Certainly. But don't you worry, Gwen, 
you'll know all about it at four o'clock. 

Gwen. (r. by table) But I thought the market 
closed at three. 

Bob. This one is going to stay open until four. 
(Goes up stage) 

Gwen. Bob, as soon as we get the money, I'll 
give it right back to you and let you double it again. 

Bob. No, you won't. (Goes l. in front of settee) 

Gwen. Do you mean that this was an excep- 
tional opportunity. 

Bob. Very; in fact, I don't think it will ever 
happen again. It won't in my life, I know. 

Gwen. We must be grateful that this oppor- 
tunity has come to us at all. 

Bob. Yes. 

Gwen. Bob, please try and not tell people things 
which will hurt their feelings. 

Bob. Gwen, after to-day, I'll never tell the truth 
to anyone. 

Gwen. Yes — I want you always to tell the truth 
to me about everything. 



50 NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH 

BoB. (Hesitatingly) Well, you might not like 
to hear it. 

Gwen. Yes, I would. Bob, I insist that you tell 
me the truth about myself. 

Bob. (c. lJ Well, if you insist — (Pause) — 
Gwen, I think you are the loveliest, the sweetest 
and the most wonderful girl in the world, and I 
love you more than anything else, and I want you 
to be my wife. 

Gwen. Oh! (Goes into his arms, kiss) 

Bob. (As he takes Gwen in his arms, after a 
moment he looks around at the clock, still holding 
Gwen in his arms) Oh, if we could only stay like 
this till four o'clock. 

Gwen. Bob, did you ever love anyone else? 
(Bob drops his arms from around Gwen in agony 
and takes a step away from her down left) Did 
you? 

Bob. (Pause) Yes. 

Gwen. Whom? (Steps back a step or two to 
c.) 

Bob. Maude Adams. 

Gwen. Everybody loves Maude Adams, but you 
know what I mean. Did you ever love anyone else ? 
You must tell me the truth. Did you ever love 
anyone else? 

Bob. Yes. 

Gwen. But you told me you never had. 

Bob. I know I did. 

Gwen. Who was she? 

Bob. A lady in a circus. 

Gwen. In a circus ? What did she do in a cir- 
cus? 

Bob. She was a cannon ball tosser. 

Gwen. Where is she now? 

Bob. I don't know. . * 

Gwen. What became of her? 



NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH 51 

Bob. She married the lion tamer. 

Gwen. (Pause) Well, I'm glad you confessed 
to me. I'm glad you told me the truth. 

Bob. So am I. 

Gwen. We won't refer to this again. Let's for- 
get and forgive. 

Bob. Gwen, let's don't talk much. 

Gwen. (Goes to Bob, they kiss. Bob looks back 
at the clock again) But, Bob — ('Bob drops his arms 
again with an agony on his face for fear of the 
question) — You never kissed anyone else, did you? 
(Pause) Did you? 

Bob. Yes. 

Gwen. Whom? 

Bob. The cannon ball tosser. 

Gwen. Why didn't you tell me this before? 

Bob. I didn't have to. 

Gwen. Didn't have to? 

Bob. Now, listen. Gwen, you said you wouldn't 
refer to this again, why don't you forget and for- 
give. (Clock hands at 3 to 1) 

Gwen. I will, but you can't blame me for being 
a little — a little — (Going to Bob) — Bob! Will you 
always be true to me? 

Bob. I — think I will. (Clock hands at 2 to 1) 

Gwen. You think you will ? 

Bob. No. 

Gwen. Bob ! 

Bob. Yes. 

Gwen. What do you mean? 

Bob. Gwen, I'm so rattled, I don't know what I 
mean. 

(NOTE — From the line "I think I will" the lines 
to this point mean nothing, as the audience are 
laughing. However, the action must carry words 
over. Mrs. Ralston does not enter until the laugh 
is dying out. She comes on from stairway l. v.) 



52 NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH 

Mrs. Ralston. I left Ethel on my bed crying 
her eyes out. A rude guest bespeaks a rude host. 
I am not at all certain that she will forgive me. 
Your conduct is unpardonable. It demands a full 
explanation. Her folks are the richest people in 
our summer colony, and you insult the daughter in 
my house. 

Bob. Honestly, Mrs. Ralston, what do you think 
of Ethel's voice? 

Mrs. Ralston. I think it's terrible myself. But 
you can't tell people such things. 

Bob. I'm sorry, but I had to tell the truth. 

Mrs. Ralston. I should think you did have to. 
And what you said to the cook about the fish — 
now, she's gone. (Clock at one and a half) 
(Crosses down r. which will feed the laugh here, 
then returns c.) One would think someone was 
standing over you with a whip saying, "Tell the 
truth and insult her." Do you imagine people like 
to hear the truth about themselves or their hats — 
or dresses, unless it happens to be pleasant? 

Bob. I thought I could do it. 

Mrs. Ralston. You can't do it in my house, 
young gentleman. That is certain. It will take 
many a lie to undo the wrong you have done by 
telling the truth. I hope you will not think I am 
rude, when I tell you I wish you had not come 
here. 

Bob. I didn't want to come here. 

Mrs. Ralston. What? 

Bob. I beg your pardon. 

Mrs ; Ralston. I should think you would. 
(Crossing from r. c.) 

Bob. Please excuse me. 

Mrs. Ralston. That will be easier for us than 
you imagine. Come, Gwen. (Gwen following 
mother) 



NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH 53 

Gwen. Please be careful, Bob. 

Bob. You bet I will. (Count seven then — clock 
strikes one) (Exit Mrs. Ralston and Gwen l. 2) 
('Bob walks up to foot of stairs with his back to 
the clock. It strikes one, which frightens him, 
coming unexpectedly. Drops down to bench l., sits 
down looking at clock) A second slow. (Rises, 
slowly walks towards the r. 2 arch. As he is near 
the arch the maid enters, leaving her u. c. and Bob 

R.C.J 

Maid. (Enters c. arch) Mr. Van Dusen. 

Bob. Martha. 

Martha. Yes, sir. (Enter Dick r. 2, quietly 
comes behind Bob, who has back to him) 

Bob. Is there a safe place in the house whei^ 
one can hide? 

Martha. Hide, sir? 

Bob. Yes — for instance, if I didn't care to see 
Mr. Van Dusen. 

Dick. Do you want to hide? 

Bob. (Turns and sees Dick for the first time) 
Yes, but I'm not going to. 

Martha. Shall I show Mr. Van Dusen in? 
(Maid exits c. Bob slowly starts to walk down 
L. Dick following him closely, as they get about 
L. C Bob turns, very much annoyed) 

Bob. You're making me awfully nervous. 

Dick. You have just three hours more. 

Bob. I know it. 

Dick. Will you give in? 

Bob. No. 

Dick. (Crossing to rJ Do you expect me to 
lose my share of ten thousand dollars? (Enter 
Van Dusen c. with automobile coat on) 

Bob. I'd love to. 

Dick. (To Van; Did you see E. M.? (Bob 
sits on settee l.) 



54 NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH 

Van. (c.) No one can see him. He is rushing 
around like a wild man. Hadley and Marshall can- 
celled their orders. I'm the only one he swindled 
because I was fool enough to give him a certified 
check. E. M. has got to return my money, or find 
me a customer for my 2,000 shares. Has he told 
the absolute truth all day? 

Dick, (r., coming to r. c.) Has he told the 
truth? We were out in the car with Gwen this 
morning. I was driving. We were pinched a mile 
below here and I had just talked the motor cycle 
cop out of it when he turned to Bob and asked 
him how fast we were going, and he said "Forty- 
five miles." (Bob gives Dick the laugh. Dick 
crosses back to right) 

Van. He must need the money. While I was 
waiting about the hotel for E. M. I met your two 
lady friends. (Crosses to table r v sits l. of it) 

Dick. Not Mabel and Sabel. ("Van grunts, r. 
of table) They weren't looking for me, were they? 

Van. (Sits) They were. They said you had 
promised to meet them and give them a dip. 

Dick. Great Scott! I forgot all about them. 

Van. I squared it for you. I told them that 
you were down here at your country home. 

Dick. At my country home? 

Van. Bad business, having girls of that calibre 
draped around the office, Dick. 

Dick. They wouldn't have stayed a minute if 
E. M. hadn't insisted upon lighting Mabel's cigar- 
ette for her. ("Mrs. Ralston enters on the line 
"draped around the office!' Comes on front L. 
Goes back of bench, starts to go upstairs; she 
reaches the first small landing when she overhears 
the word "E. M." and then listens to the rest of 
the speech. Comes down, puts her work-basket on 
the piano and drops c. The moment she speaks, 



NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH 55 

the men realize that she has overheard them. Van 
slowly rises out of his chair. Dick stands petri- 
fied. Bob, who is seated on the settee, edges over 
very quietly and rises to make a sneak-away, 
as he realizes he must tell the truth if called 
upon) 

Mrs. Ralston, (c.) Mabel — cigarette? Did I 
understand you to say my husband lit a cigarette 
for some woman in his office ? ("Bob had gotten up 
by this time and is tiptoeing up stage L. for the 
arch) 

Van. We weren't talking about your husband. 

Mrs. Ralston. I heard Dick say E. M. 

Van. You must be mistaken. He was speaking 
of a man named Emond. Emond. 

Mrs. Ralston. Dick, didn't you say E. M.? 

Dick. No, Emond. (By this time Bob had just 
reached the curtain on the arch and is about to 
get out) 

Mrs. Ralston. Robert ! (Robert staggers back 
into the room) Was Dick speaking of my hus- 
band? 

Bob. Yes. (Exits l. 2. On the line "was Dick 
speaking of my husband" Mrs. Ralston has her 
back to Van and Dick, and they are frantically 
waving to Bob to say "no" and get out, when Bob 
says "yes" he exits with one hand to his forehead 
and the other holding the back of his head) 

Mrs. Ralston. (Goes r., turning to Dick and 
Van ) Now, what have you to say? 

Van. Emond's my story and I'm going to stick 
to it. 

Mrs. Ralston. A pretty state of affairs, Dick! 
Who is Mabel? 

Dick. Mab—Mab— Mabel ? 

Mrs. Ralston. Yes, Mabel. 

Dick. I don't know, # 



56 NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH 

Mrs. Ralston. Mr. Van Dusen, who is this 
Mabel? 

Van. Mabel? 

Mrs. Ralston. Yes. 

Van. Mabel? 

Mrs. Ralston, fc. Very emphatically) Yes. 

Van. Mabel is a customer — a customer at the 
office. 

Mrs. Ralston. Indeed! Mabel is a customer 
and my husband lights cigarettes for her in the 
office. What is her last name? 

Van. I don't know. 

Mrs. Ralston. Van, it is too late for you to 
shield my husband. 

Dick. Mrs. Ralston, you're mistaken. The en- 
tire incident was so trivial, so unexpected 

Mrs. Ralston. Most unexpected, I assure you. 
(Turns to speak to Robert, finds that he has gone) 
Do you know the young lady who smokes cigar- 
ettes ? 

Dick. I hope not. 

Mrs. Ralston. What? 

Dick. (Quickly) I think not. 

Mrs. Ralston. Well, rest assured, I will make 
her acquaintance. 

Maid. (Up R. c.) Bishop Doran. He wishes to 
see Mrs. Ralston. 

Van. Let's get out of here. We are just going, 
Mrs. Ralston. 

Mrs. Ralston. (Going up stage, then crossing 
toR.) Just a moment. (To Maid ) Tell my daugh- 
ter Bishop Doran is here. 

Maid. Yes, ma'am. (Exits l. 2 c. stairs) 

Mrs. Ralston. Richard! 

Dick. Yes, Mrs. Ralston. 

Mrs. Ralston. This way, Mr. Van Dusen. 

Van. After you, Mrs. Ralston. ("Mrs. Ralston 



NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH 57 

exits R. following Dick.) It looks like the third 
degree. (Crossing to the extreme right, about to 
exit) (Enter Bishop c.) 

Bishop. How do you do, Mr. — Mr. 

Van. Good-bye. (Exits r. c. Bishop comes c. 
Enters Gwen down stairs l.J 

Gwen. Good afternoon, Bishop. 

Bishop. Good afternoon, my dear. I came over 
to talk with you about your charity. Your father's 
offer to duplicate any amount we raise has greatly 
impressed me. For the next four days I shall de- 
vote all of my time to it. 

Gwen. Thank you, Bishop. 

Bishop. Do you think your father won't object? 

Gwen. It was his own proposition. 

Bishop. Now, tell me the names of those you 
have not approached. 

Gwen. There's a Mr. Marshall — Mr. Carter. 

Bishop. Yes, I know him. (Enter Van from 
going to c. arch) 

Gwen. And 

Van. I beg your pardon. 

Bishop. Mr. 

Van. (r. 2) Van Dusen. 

Bishop. Oh, yes, I remember you perfectly. 

Gwen. Have you seen Bob, Mr. Van Dusen? 

Van. He was here just before the — he went out 
somewhere. 

Gwen. Will you remain until father comes 
home, Bishop? I want to find Bob. Will you chat 
here with Mr. Van Dusen? ("Van drops down to 
L. of table R. and sits) 

Bishop. Yes, yes, run along, my dear, if you 
wish. 

Gwen. (Aside to the Bishop) Have you asked 
Mr. Van Dusen? 

Bishop. No, not yet. 



58 NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH 

Gwen. Well, there he is. 

Bishop. Don't worry, I'll get some money from 
him. fGwEN exits c. arch to L.) 

Van. Are you having a pleasant summer on 
the Island, Bishop? 

Bishop. Oh, yes. Can I induce you to con- 
tribute to our Seaside Home for Children? 

Van. I haven't any children. Not now — later. 

Bishop. What, what? 

Van. I'll give you a donation later, Bishop. 
Later. 

Bishop. Thank you. 

Van. Just now I am pressed for cash. The 
market, you know. 

Bishop. Oh, yes, the stock market. I doubt if 
I could stand the strain of that life. The risk one 
must take. (Crosses to l.J 

Van. There's no risk at all. 

Bishop. (Crosses to c.) No risk? Not in 
speculation ? 

Van. My dear Bishop — (Rises) — There is no 
surer way to make money than to buy some stock 
which is just about to go up. 

Bishop. That sounds plausible. ('Van sees that 
the Bishop is nibbling and remembers the phoney 
stock that Ralston has passed on to him in Act I, 
and conceives the idea that he might sell it to the 
Bishop,) 

Van. Buy — it — when it's low, — hold it a day, 
sell it, and double your money. 

Bishop. Double it? 

Van. Or triple it. 

Bishop. (Wiping his face, with handkerchief) 
It's a bit hottish, isn't it? 

Van. Warmer ! Bishop, let's take a walk around 
the gardens. I've got a great idea, I'll explain this 
stock to you more thoroughly, (Takes Bishop by 



NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH 59 

arm and leads him out center arch) There are 
certain stocks that go up. Now it just happens, 
Bishop, that I have a stock which is very rare. 
(This last line carries them off. Exit c. to r. ) (As 
Van is leading the Bishop off c. Dick enters r. 
and Bob l. They must see Van with the Bishop ) 

Dick. Where is Van taking the Bishop? 

Bob. How do I know? Third degree over? 
(Maid enters from arch c.) 

Dick. Yes. Everything will he all right if we 
can only keep you out of it. (Maid hands card on 
silver salver to Dick) Where are they? 

Maid, (c.) On the veranda, sir. 

Dick. Don't let them in. I'll be out in a minute. 

Bob. Who is it? 

Dick. Mabel and Sabel. What will we do? 

Bob. What will we do? What will you do? 
They didn't come to see me. 

Dick. Bob, tell them I'm not here. Say I've 
gone to the city. 

Bob. Tell a lie? — (Crosses to r. of table r.J — 
I will not. 

Dick. I won't count this one. 

Bob. Yes, you would. 

Dick. I'm afraid to meet them. (Enter Mabel 
and Sabel from c.) 

Mabel. What's the idea of keeping us waiting? 
(To c. r. of DickJ 

Dick. (c. between the girls) Hello. 

Sabel. (l. c.) Van told us you'd be at your 
country home. I hope it's all right to call. 

Mabel. It's just as proper as for him to break 
his word to us. 

Dick. How did you get down here? 

Sabel. In a taxi. 

Mabel. Isn't this Dick's country home? 

Bob. No. 



60 NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH 

Mabel. Whose home is it? 

Bob. Mr. Ralston's. 

Mabel. For heaven's sake, can't any of you men 
tell the truth? 

Bob. (Sits r. of table) I can, Mabel. Yes. 

Mabel. I wouldn't bet a nickel on it. 

Bob. I think I overplayed it a little myself. 

Dick. Where's your taxi, Mabel? 

Mabel. Are you trying to get rid of us? (En- 
ters Mrs. Ralston from r. 2. Drops down extreme 
R. She looks at Bob, does not see two girls) 

Mrs. Ralston, (r.) Is everyone comfortable? 

Bob. No. (Rises and goes up r. 2 arch) 

Mrs. Ralston. (Sees the girls for the first 
time) Oh, I didn't know we had company. 

Dick. The Misses Jackson — Mrs. Ralston. 

Mrs. Ralston. Charmed. 

Mabel. (Assuming a dignified attitude) Mrs. 
Ralston. We stopped in to see Mr. Donnelly — we 
were passing 

Mrs. Ralston. I'm so pleased that you did. 
(Pause) 

Sabel. (Very nervously) Don't you think we 
had better go, Mabel? (Up to c.) 

Mrs. Ralston. (To herself) Mabel! (Girls 
start to go up c. Mabel c. Sabel l. c. Bob fol- 
lows) Please wait. (Girls at c. arch) Robert, 
is that the Mabel ? 

Bob. (Crosses down with terrible effort) Yes. 

Dick. (Trying to relieve the situation and get 
the girls away) I'll show the young ladies around 
the place. 

Mrs. Ralston. No, I'll show the young ladies 
around. Will you come, Miss Mabel? The gar- 
den is lovely now. (Goes to the young ladies, be- 
tween them, and leads them off c. arch) So, you 
came to see Mr. Donnelly? (Exits c. to r.) (As 



NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH 6i 

ladies exit, Van passes them in full view of the 
audience. This is important) 

Van. (To l. of them) How did they get in? 

Dick. It's all your fault. They came down in 
a taxi. 

Bob. You'd better get them away from here. 

Dick. I will. I suppose Van will have to take 
them all the way back to the city. 

Van. I will not. 

Bob. (To c.) IVe got a better scheme, then. 
You stay here. I can drive them back to the city, 
and return here by four o'clock. 

Dick. No you can't. You'll stay here where I 
can watch you. Let Van do it. 

Van. All right, shoot them around to the back 
gate. I'll send the taxi. (Van crosses to lJ (En- 
ter Ralston l. c. Auto coat on, highly ex- 
cited) 

Ralston. Oh, what a day. (Watches Bob's eye 
and slowly starts down stage towards him as if he 
might do him bodily harm. Bob backs away two 
or three steps finding himself in front of the settee) 
Do you know what has happened ? I have lost over 
fifty thousand dollars. That man Clark has told 
everyone on the Street that I tried to swindle him. 
If my wife ever hears of that! I'd give twenty 
thousand dollars if you had not said what you did 
over the phone. You'll have to square this. 

Bob. I had to tell the truth. 

Ralston. (Pause) Is that so? Has he told a 
lie yet? 

Van and Dick. (Disgustedly to r.) No. 

Ralston, (r. c.) He hasn't, eh? Well, I'll 
make him. (Removes his ulster, but keeps it in his 
hand for business to follow) Tell us what you told 
me about Dick in the cafe two days ago. 

Dick. Yes, and tell me the truth now. 



62 NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH 

Bob. (c.) I said if you knew twice as much as 
you do now, you'd be half-witted. 

Dick. Is that so? Just tell us what you said 
about Van. 

Bob. I said he was a little less, just a little, than 
the inside of a doughnut. I said if he'd close one 
eye, he'd look like a needle. 

Van. (l.) What do you think of E. M.? 

Bob. I think he's a great, big, overgrown, self- 
conceited, arrogant, four-flushing walrus. 

Ralston. (Throwing down coat by chair R. L. 
of table) That's far enough. 

Van. What do you think of Mrs. Ralston ? 

Bob. I think— Mrs. R 

Ralston. (Quickly) No, no, I've been married 
twenty-five years. I'm satisfied. 

Bob. Do you know what I think of Mrs. Ral- 
ston? 

Ralston. What ? 

Bob. I think she's one of the finest women I 
ever met. 

Ralston. That's different. 

Bob. And I can't understand why she ever mar- 
died you. 

Ralston. (Sudden thought. Picks up coat) 
I've been wanting to get a line on you for a long 
time and this is a good opportunity. (Pause) Did 
you ever — steal anything? 

Bob. (Pause) Yes. (All business) 

Dick. What did you steal? 

Bob. I stole some money. 

Ralston. Where did you steal it? 

Bob. From a bank. (Men all look at each other 
at this with amazement) 

Ralston. How much money was it? 

Bob. Half a dollar. 

Ralston. You stole half a dollar from a bank? 



NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH 63 

Bob. Yes. 

Ralston. (Quickly to kill the laugh on half a 
dollar, so that the next line will go as the climax) 
What bank was it? 

Bob. My little brother's bank. ( Ralston takes 
one look at him, throws up his hands in digust, 
and with his ulster trailing the -floor walks up stage 
c. Comes back again for next question. Van and 
Dick must be intensely interested in this thing and 
on Bob's last reply, show utter disgust) 

Ralston. So you stole a half a dollar from your 
little brother's bank. 

Bob. That's all he had in there. 

Van. Did you ever get drunk? 

Bob. Yes — one night. 

Dick. Were you ever arrested? 

Bob. Yes. 

Van. When ? 

Bob. The same night. (Men repeat the same 
disgusted business, but Ralston does not go up 
stage this time) 

Van. (Pause) Did you ever kill anybody? 

Bob. No — but I think I'm going to. (Van steps 
back a few steps up stage l. as Bob looks threaten- 
ingly at him. Van back of settee) 

Ralston. Oh, what a terrible thing it must be 
to have to tell the truth. (Starts up stage and con- 
fronts Mabel and Sabel who enter c. Mabel 
on r. of Sabel. Ralston falls back aghast, drop- 
ping his ulster on chair l. of c. arch) What does 
this mean? My dear ladies. Don't you realize the 
impropriety of coming to my house? 

Mabel, (r. of Ralston c. r. c. Sabel c. 
Ralston l. c.) We came to see Mr. Donnelly. 

Ralston. Mr. Donnelly, eh? (Gives Dick a 
fierce look. Turns to Bob and Van only a step) 
Where's my wife? 



64 NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH 

Sabel. We just left her. 

Ralston. What? 

Mabel, (c, crossing Sabel to c, which is only 
a few steps, and is now facing Ralston. Bob is 
by the settee in front of piano. Van on the other 
side of him down L. Dick over r. in front of 
table) Yes, she found out my name was Mabel, 
but who told her you lit my cigarette for me? 

Ralston. (Gives a quick turn and look at Bob,) 
Did you tell her? 

Bob. No. 

Ralston. Who did? 

Bob. (Pointing to Dick, who is much perturbed) 
He did. 

Dick. She overheard me talking about it. 

Ralston. Is that all you have to talk about? 
(To Mabel; What did you tell her? 

Mabel, (r. c.) I don't know — she told us to 
wait here. (Dick is extreme r. Bob l. c. Van 

l.; 

Ralston. What for? 

Mabel. I don't know. 

Ralston. (Turning to Bob J Bob, you'll have 
to square this. Tell my wife that Dick was lying. 
Tell her that he was playing a joke. Go on. Tell 
her. 

Bob. I cannot tell a lie. 

Ralston. (Desperate) This one won't count. 

Van. Oh, yes it will. 

Dick. (Crossing' from extreme R. to l. so that 
he is on the r. Ralston and Bob l. c.) We got 
to get rid of them. They must not meet Mrs. Ral- 
ston again. 

Van. If they go now she'll surely suspect some- 
thing. 

Ralston. Dick, that's so. (To BobJ Oh, if you 
could only tell a lie. 



NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH 65 

Dick. Yes. 

Bob. I can fix the whole thing without telling a 
He. 

All. How? 

Bob. Mabel can lie. Get Mabel to deny every- 
thing. 

Dick. That's so. 

Ralston. Will you tell her what to say? 
Bob. Yes. Boys, after I do this, can I take a 
little nap? 
All. No. 

Ralston. (Pushing Bob toward c.) Go on 
and tell her. (Bob crosses to girls at r.) (Ral- 
ston follows and is standing next to Bob at r. c. 
Dick c. Van l. cj 

Bob. Mabel, Mr. Ralston wants you to do a 
favor for him. When you meet Mrs. Ralston tell 
her you came to the office to trade with Mr. Don- 
nelly. 

Ralston. And that you don't know me, and that 
I did not light your cigarette. 

Sabel. (Extreme r.) What are we going to 
get out of it? 

Mabel. We want you to give us a tip so we can 
make a lot of money. 

Ralston. You do this for me and I'll give you 
a tip to-morrow so that you can make a barrel of 
money. 

Bob. Why give them the tip? Why not give 
them the money? ("Ralston gives Bob a dig in 
the back) 

Ralston. Shut up. (As Bob is dug in the ribs 
by Ralston, he turns quickly from the force and 
almost falls over Mabel, coming face to face with 
her) 

Bob. How did you kick that high? 
Ralston. Mabel, Miss Jackson. 



66 NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH 

Bob. Now you tell Mrs. Ralston that you came 
to the office to trade with Mr. Donnelly. 

Ralston. That you don't know me and that I 
did not light your cigarette. 

Mabel. I understand. 

Bob. Do you think you can remember that? 

Mabel. I'll try. 

Bob. Please repeat the speech just as you're 
going to tell it. 

Mabel. I came to the office to trade with Mr. 
Donnelly. I don't know Mr. Ralston, and Mr. 
Ralston never lit a cigarette for me. 

Ralston. That's it. fDiCK and Van cross lJ 

Bob. Fine. We depend upon you to smooth 
everything over. 

Sabel. Don't worry about us. 

Mabel. I'll tell the taxi to wait. ("Mabel 
crosses quickly, goes up stage between the men. 
Sabel goes up stage extreme r v and both exit 
c.) 

Ralston. (Pushing Bob up stage) Don't let 
them get away. Tell the driver to say he is unable 
to start the car. 

Bob. I won't do anything of the sort. That's a 
lie. Don't worry, I saw the car — I don't think any- 
body can start it. (Exits c. to R v following girls) 

Ralston, (tj. c. Van and Dick over l.) Now, 
if she tells that story — (Sudden thought) — We've 
got him. We've got Bennett. 

Dick. What do you mean? 

Ralston. Here's where we kill two birds with 
one stone. After she tells that story to Mrs. Ral- 
ston, we'll collect from Bennett. 

Dick and Van. How? 

Ralston. Now, he hasn't spared us. Now we'll 
double cross him. Don't you see by telling Mabel 



NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH 67 

to lie, he has made himself an accessory before the 
fact? 

Dick. Of course he has. He is aiding and abet- 
ting a falsehood. 

Ralston. Certainly. 

Van. I'm satisfied. 

Ralston. (Crosses r. u. up c. d. up c.) There's 
no argument. The minute she tells that story he 

loses. 

Van. He gave us a run for our money, but he 
can't finish. (Van crosses r. c. with Dick fol- 
lowing as Mabel and Sabel enter from c.) 

Mabel, (c. l. 0/ Ralston ) It's all right. I 
told the taxi to wait. ("Mabel and Sabel drop 
down r. Sabel is R. of table, Mabel l. of it) 
(Van and Dick exit) 

Ralston, fu. c.) Mabel, I want you to tell that 
story exactly as Mr. Bennett told you. Mr. Don- 
nelly will settle with you to-morrow. (Exit) 

Sabel. (-r.) All we've ever got from them are 
promises. ("Mrs. Ralston enters from upstairs 
•l.) Here she is. (Quietly) 

Mabel, (r. c v crosses to chair l. of table) Act 
like a lady. 

Mrs. Ralston. Will you please be seated? 
Mabel. Yes, ma'am. (Sits in chair l. of table 
r. Sabel sits r. of table) 

Mrs. Ralston. (Stands c.) I want to ask a 
few important questions. I don't want you to tell 
me anything but the truth, and I do not expect you 
to go unrewarded for your honesty. If what you 
tell me is significant enough — (Mabel and Sabel 
exchange looks on the word "significant") — I will 
give you $100. 

Mabel. Yes, ma'am. 

Mrs. Ralston. ( c ) How long have you known 
Mr. Ralston? 



68 NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH 

Mabel. (Rising) Oh, I guess we better Hadn't 
tell anything, Mrs. Ralston. 

Mrs. Ralston. If you tell me what I want to 
know, I will give you $200. 

Sabel. Two hundred dollars? 

Mrs. Ralston. Yes. 

Mabel. What do you want to know? 

Sabel. But when do we get the money? 

Mrs. Ralston. I understand. If you will ex- 
cuse me, I'll get the money now. (Starts to go up 
the steps) I'll make him pay for this. (Exits up- 
stairs) 

Sabel. Pay? ("Mabel takes off hat, hands on 
hips. Quickly crosses to steps and looks at them) 

Mabel. Well! 

Sabel. (Crossing back of table r.) Two hun- 
dred dollars, Mabel, let's get it. — (Goes R. of table) 
— What will you tell her? 

Mabel. I'm to tell her that I came to the office 
to trade with Mr. Donnelly. 

Sabel. That isn't significant — make up some- 
thing. 

Mabel. I can't make up anything. 

Sabel. Tell her something you've read about. 
Oh, I know, tell her the speech you loved so much 
in our act. 

Mabel. The innocent girl? 

Sabel. That's significant. Didn't you hear the 
audience cry "-.he night you read that speech? 

Mabel. She wouldn't believe that. 

Sabel. Yes, she would. A jealous woman will 
believe anything. (Enters Mrs. Ralston from up- 
stairs with two hundred dollars in bills in her 
hand) 

Mabel. (Quickly) All right, I'll try it. 

Sabel. Sh ! 

Mrs. Ralston. (Sits) Now, then, we can pro- 



NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH 69 

ceed. Tell me everything. (Sits on piano bench. 
Sabel has seated herself r. of table) 

Mabel. Everything ! 

Mrs. Ralston. Yes. 

Mabel. I came to the office to trade with Mr. 
Donnelly — I don't know Mr. Ralston. 

Mrs. Ralston. Stop. You are not telling me 
the truth. How long has this been going on ? Tell 
me what has happened. 

Mabel. Mrs. Ralston ! 

Mrs. Ralston. Well, you certainly cannot ex- 
pect me to give you two hundred dollars without 
you telling me something that is worth it. You've 
known my husband how long? ( Mabel turning to 
Sabel J 

Mrs. Ralston. Three months, at least three 
months, now admit it? 

Sabel. (Quietly to Mabel across table) Go 
on, admit it. 

Mabel. All right, I admit it. 

Mrs. Ralston. Then, why didn't you tell me 
the :ruth at once, you'll gain nothing by lying. I 
have here two hundred dollars for you, but you'll 
not get one penny unless you tell me exactly what 
I want to know. Now tell me the worst. 

Sabel. Tell her. Tell her. 

Mabel. All right. (Turns in chair and strikes 
a dramatic attitude) I was an innocent girl. Noth- 
ing but a kid. What did I know of the wicked city, 
and then — (Rise and come to c.) — he came. I 
didn't know he was married, I believed everything 
he told me. 

Mrs. Ralston. Yes, go on, go on. 

Mabel. One night — Oh, gawd — I'll never for- 
get that night — (Hands by side) — He gave me 
things to drink — there must have been something 
in it beside harmless booze. 



70 NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH 

Mrs. Ralston. Yes, go on, go on. 

Mabel. When I came to 

Sabel. (Presumably crying softly to herself, but 
working it up for Mabel,) Don't say any more. 

Mabel. It was too late. (By chair) 

Mrs. Ralston. (Rising) How late was it? 

Mabel. Too late, I said. (Sinks in chair with 
her head on her arm across the table) 

Mrs. Ralston. This is dreadful. Here is your 
$200. Worse than I dreamed. You poor girl. 
(Gives money) I'll telephone my lawyers and have 
affidavits drawn up. Oh, the monster, the monster, 
the monster. (Exits weeping L.J 

Sabel. (Rises) She swallowed it. 

Mabel. (She cannot conceive that she got by 
with such a thing) Did she? 

Sabel. Sure she did. (With money that Mrs. 
Ralston had pushed into her hand at the finish of 
her story the exact line to place it is "The poor 
girl") 

Mabel. Two hundred dollars ! Don't you think 
we ought to return it ? 

Sabel. (To l.) Mabel, it was given to you. 

Mabel, (c.) You might have yellow fever 
given to you, but you wouldn't want to keep it. 

Sabel. We've had a very good day. We better 
leave this house. ( The girls start up c. and are met 
by Bob and Dick. Dick entering first) 

Mabel. I guess we had. 

Dick. Well? 

Sabel. Well, what? 

Dick. (Crosses back oj girls) Did you see her? 

Mabel. Yes, we saw her. 

Bob. Did you tell her what I told you ? 

Mabel. No. 

Sabel. Mabel didn't get a chance to say a thing, 
Bobbie, but we've got to get back to the city. 



NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH 71 

Come on, Mabel. (Girls start to exit. Sabel does 
so c. to R.) 

Dick. But didn't she talk to you? 

Mabel. (In arch c.) No, she didn't say a word. 
Good-bye. (Kisses hand to boys. Exits after 
Sabel,) 

Bob. Let them go, let them go. 

Dick. I will not. You don't know what it means 
to me, we may need them. I'm going to keep them 
here. fDiCK exits c. to r v leaves Bob u. r. c.) 
(Enter Gwen and Ethel l. c. Gwen comes to 
l. c. by going above bench. Ethel comes l. to 
front of piano by dropping down extreme l. and 
crossing in front of settee) 

Gwen. Bob, Ethel is our secretary and I have 
told her in the strictest confidence that you are 
going to make a lot of money for me, but she won't 
repeat it. 

Ethel. (Still very much insulted and hurt in 
her attitude towards Bob,) Rest assured, I'll keep 
it secret. (Enter Bishof, c. from r. He has the 
stock certificate in his hand which Van has sold 
him. He is deeply interested and on entering the 
room is reading to himself, but aloud, the back of 
the certificate) 

Bishop. (Enters reading) For value received, I 
hereby sell and assign — (Coming c. Bob at r. 
Gwen and Ethel l. cj — Pardon me, I thought 
this was another room. 

Bob. It is — you were out there. 
Bishop. I mean — that is — I don't know exactly 
what I mean. I know so little about business. You 
know all about stocks, don't you? 

Bob. Hardly. There's no such thing as knowing 
all about them. 

Bishop. (Shows his stock certificate to BobJ 
But I refer to certain stocks which go up. 



J2 NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH 

Bob. fBoB takes the certificate, looks at it, 
smiles) I know all about this stock, Sulphur Bank. 
Who gave you this? 

Bishop. (Taking the certificate quickly from 
Bob,) Gave it to me? Gave it to me? One doesn't 
have such things as this given to them. 

Bob. Do you mean to say that you paid money 
for that? ( Bishop staggers with his hand to his 
head. The two girls run and catch him. Ethel is 
r. of him, Gwen l. of him) 

Girls. Bishop ! 

Bishop. I — paid seven thousand dollars for it. 

Bob. To whom? 

Bishop. Mr. — Mr. 

Bob. Van Dusen? 

Bishop. (Wild-eyed) Yes! Yes! 

Bob. What did you give him in payment? 

Bishop. My check, sir, for seven thousand dol- 
lars. 

Bob. Where is your bank? 

Bishop. Seven thousand streets down — no — no 
— -I mean seven streets down. Is it worth much 
more than seven thousand dollars? 

Bob. No. 

Bishop. I'll let it go — profit and all — for what 
I paid for it — seven thousand dollars — eh? 

Bob. (r.) No. 

Bishop. (Turning to ladies) Ladies! 

Girls. No, thank you, Bishop. 

Bishop. (Turning to Bob,) Fourteen hundred 
pounds. 

Bob. No, no. 

Bishop. But he said it was very rare. 

Bob. It is very rare, it's raw. (^Bishop faints. 
Ethel holds him, while Gwen brings the chair 
from l. of arch c. down stage and they get the 
Bishop in it) 



NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH 73 

Ethel. Bishop — quick — he is fainting. 

Gwen. Water, Bob, quickly. (Bob turns and 
gets glass of water off table R.) 

Ethel. Here, here, the poor Bishop. 

Bishop. (Slowly drinks water,, opens his eyes) 
Sulphur, sulphur! (Bob takes the glass, smells the 
water) 

Bob. Sulphur? (Puts glass back on table) 

Bishop. (To Bob J Come nearer. Is it a good 
stock? Is it a good stock? 

Ethel. Tell him the stock is all right. 

Bishop. (In desperation) Tell me the truth, 
is it a good stock ? 

Bob. It's no good at all. 

Bishop. Ichabod, Ichabod, thy glory has de- 
parted! ( Bishop lets his head sink in his hands, 
he is in a weeping position) 

Gwen. Bob, you're heartless. Bishop 

Bishop. (Looking up) Buy it! Hold it! Sell 
it! It's going up! Sulphur! I preached against 
it all my life and I was right — it's hell — I beg your 
pardon, ladies. I don't know what I am saying. 

Bob. It's quite all right, Bishop. 

Bishop. (Picking up certificate which he has 
dropped on the floor in front of him when he 
fainted in the chair, looking at certificate) It's 
spurious. I have been swindled — (Rise) — Oh, my 
fourteen hundred pounds. I shall go mad. 

Gwen. Run to your bank. 

Bishop. I'll find the perfidious beggar and I'll 
tweek his nose. Hold him if you should chance to 
see him. Brimstone and sulphur — sulphur and 
brimstone. ( Bis hop works u. stage. After the 
line "I'll tweek his nose" the first time, so that he 
is right at the c. arch for the line "sulphur and brim- 
stone" ) (Exits c. to r.J 

Ethel. Isn't it a shame, the poor Bishop. 



74 NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH 

Gwen. Now I'm getting worried about my in- 
vestment. 

Ethel, (c) I don't blame you. Last evening 
my father said Mr. Bennett was a very truthful 
man, but I think some people try to overdo a good 
thing. Suppose I said what I exactly thought of 
you. I don't care if Gwen likes you or not. I think 
you are very, very fresh. 

Gwen. Now please don't quarrel. 

Bob. I think she's right. 

Gwen. You're sorry you offended her, aren't 
you, Bob? 

Bob. Yes, I'm very sorry. 

Ethel. Then you didn't mean what you said 
about my hat? 

Bob. Oh, yes, I did. ("Ethel cries. Gwen con- 
soles her. Both girls are l. c.) (Enter Van c. 
arch from l v counting the money that he has gotten 
from the bank on the Bishop's check. He comes 
down extreme r. Bob is r. c.) 

Bob. Have you seen the Bishop? 

Van. I'm through with the Bishop. 

Gwen. He is going to do something terrible to 
you. (Enter Ralston followed by Dick from 

R. 2) 

Van. What for? 

Bob. That Sulphur Bank. 

Van. Sulphur Bank's a good stock. E. M. said 
it was. 

Ralston. (Dropping c. Bob l. of table r. Dick 
back of table r.) I'm glad you feel that way about 
that stock, Van. Hold it, my boy, it will be all right 
in a few days. 

Van. I'm out of it. 

Ralston. How out of it? 

Van. Just out. I sold it to the Bishop. 

Ralston. What? 



NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH 75 

Ladies. Yes, yes. 

Ralston. Of course, he doesn't know it's no 
good. 

Bob. Yes, he does. He asked me and I told him. 

Ralston. (To Bob,) How dare you? (To 
Van ) Van Dusen, how dare you swindle the 
Bishop in my home? 

Van. How dare you swindle me in your office? 
(Van goes up stage r v then comes back immedi- 
ately) 

Ralston. (Going up c.) My wife will go mad. 
(Looking up stairs. Gwen crosses down to r. c. 
to l. of Bob. Ralston drops back to c. Ethel 
l. behind settee) 

Gwen. Surely, Mr. Van Dusen, you didn't sell 
this stock to the Bishop knowing it was worthless? 

Van. I had just as much faith in it as your 
father had when he sold it to me. 

Gwen. (Turning to father) Then you will 
surely make good to the Bishop? 

Van. I hope so. 

Gwen. Dad, you must make good. 

Ralston. Yes, yes, I'll smooth it out. All Bob's 
got to do is to say he was mistaken. 

Gwen. Yes, let's hurry and find the Bishop. 
Tell him you were mistaken. 

Bob. I can't do that. (Pause) 

Gwen. But I want you to do it for my sake. 

Bob. For your sake, I must not do it. 

Gwen. You're making yourself (Turns to 

father) — I'm getting worried about him. 

Ralston. Worried ? 

Gwen. I'm worrying 

Ralston. What about? 

Gwen. I gave Bob some money to invest for me 
yesterday. 

Ralston. How much money was it? 



76 NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH 

Gwen. Ten thousand dollars. 

Ralston. Ten thousand dollars — yesterday. (It 
suddenly hits him that that's the money Bob bet 
with him, and that he not only has to double the 
charity money, but may lose the bet as well. He 
sinks back with a terrible groan. Gwen rushes to 
him and supports him) 

Gwen. Do you know? 

Ralston. Do I know? (Is about to say yes, 
if he does Bob wins). No, I don't know. (Enters 
Mrs. Ralston from l. 2, drops down extreme 

lJ 

Mrs. Ralston. You monster — you wretch! 

Ralston. Huh? What? (Situation. All turn 
and look at Mrs. RalstonJ ( Mrs. Ralston cross- 
ing l. c. Gwen goes to Ethel, who is at l. by 
settee) 

Mrs. Ralston. When I think of all the years 
you have been masquerading as a respectable citizen, 
you monster. 

Dick. (Over table to Bob. Quietly) Shall I 
get Mabel? 

Bob. Yes. (Exit Dick c. to r.) 

Mrs. Ralston. Three months! Think of it, 
three months, leading a double life with that inno- 
cent girl. (Ralston throws up his hands and says 
"oh," and goes up stage. Drops down again im- 
mediately) Deceiving your wife, and your daugh- 
ter, hiding from us the truth. You monster, to 
bring that girl into my home. 

Ralston. What girl? 

Mrs. Ralston. Mabel. 

Ralston. She came to the office to trade with 
Mr. Donnelly. 

Mrs. Ralston. I don't believe you, I don't be- 
lieve you. 

Gwen. What has father done? 



NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH 77 

Ralston. I haven't done anything. (Enter c. 
Mabel and Dick. They stay up stage c.) 

Mrs. Ralston. You haven't done anything? 
Deny this evidence, if you can. ("Ralston turns 
and sees the girls. Quickly goes to BobJ 

Ralston. Bob, make her tell that story. 

Bob. (Crossing to Mrs. Ralston ) Mrs. Ral- 
ston, if you won't believe your husband, will you 
believe the young lady herself? ("Mabel comes 
down c. Dick goes back of table R. Everyone 
watching this with intense interest) 

Mrs. Ralston. Yes. 

Bob. (Turns to Mabel, thinking, as do the other 
men, that she is going to say "I came to the office 
to trade with Mr. Donnelly" etc.) Mabel, tell them 
your story. 

Mabel. I was an innocent girl — (Curtain) — 
Nothing but a kid 

Men. What? (A look of horror on all the 
men's faces) 

Curtain 

(NOTE — Ring curtain on the line "I was an inno- 
cent girl," but the action and the expression 
must be seen, so don't get too fast a curtain — 
medium fast) 

Second Curtain 

(NOTE — Go up immediately. Mabel is still in 
c. telling the story, the only line that is heard 
and must be spoken is "one night, Oh, Gawd, 
I'll never forget that night" as the curtain is 
well up all the men leave the stage, also Gwen 
and Ethel. Dick runs off r. 2. Van through 
c. Ralston following him. Mrs. Ralston 



78 NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH 

puts Gwen and Ethel off stage so they won't 
hear this story, l. 2. Bob goes to second step 
on the stairs and stands there and in gesture 
says "Shake her, shake her." This action is all 
fast. The curtain is not held for it) 



ACT III 

Same as Act II 

Bob enters from stairway door l. tj. Creeps 
downstairs, bumps into small table on landing; 
nearly knocks over vase. Business. He then 
reaches stage and looks at clock and watches it, 
then stamps his foot, peers around door. Ad- 
vances and looks carefully out door — comes back, 
sees Ralston coming r. arch. Bob hurries down 
stage end of arch, hides behind curtains. As Ral- 
ston appears, Bob swings to back of curtain. 
Ralston goes out on veranda, looks at watch, then 
exits l. 2 e. Bob appears, sees Dick coming. Bob 
hides behind door l. of arch c. Dick enters, looks 
about for Bob, takes out watch. Looks off r. arch, 
makes a hasty exit as if he had caught sight of Bob. 
Bob comes from behind door, heaves a sigh of re- 
lief. Looks off r v sees Van. Bob hides behind 
r. door of arch l. Van enters — comes slowly to 
c. Hears clock, looks about with suspicious air. 
Goes to clock, puts out hand to move hand. (Noise 
off stage scares him) (NOISE) He pauses; then 
moves hand to 29 minutes past three. Bob doesn't 
see Van do this business. Van exits c. Bob comes 
from behind door, shakes his head as if in deep 
distress, comes down stage to back of table r. Takes 
out watch, looks at it, then looks at clock. Shakes 
and places his watch to his ear to see if it has 
stopped. A knowing smile enlightens his face. He 
goes to clock and sets if to 3.25. He then smiles 

79 



80 NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH 

and, as he looks away from clock, apparently hits 
his face on the door. He then sees the Bishop. 
Crosses over, hides on bench by stairway. 

Bishop. (Enter c. to r. Looks all around, sees 
Bob hiding) (Bob starts upstairs as Bishop sees 
him) Mr. Bennett, are you hiding? 

Bob. (Rising and coming to Bishop,) Yes. 

Bishop. It's refreshing to meet an honest man 
like you, Mr. Bennett. (Shakes hands with Ben- 
nett,) 

Bob. Thank you. 

Bishop. It is easier to speak the truth, don't you 
think so? 

Bob. No, and if you think it is, try it some time. 

Bishop. But you practice it. 

Bob. Yes. 

Bishop. I had occasion to preach on Truthful- 
ness in the city about a month ago. Were you 
there ? 

Bob. Yes, I was there. 

Bishop. Did you like my sermon? 

Bob. I liked the beginning of it. 

Bishop. Didn't you like the rest of it? 

Bob. I didn't hear the rest of it. 

Bishop. You didn't leave the church during my 
sermon ? 

Bob. No. I liked the beginning of it. 

Bishop. Then how is it you didn't hear the rest 
of it? 

Bob. I was asleep. 

Bishop. (Hesitates, then smiles) Well, well, I 
like your frankness. 

Bob. I am glad somebody does. 

Bishop, Oh, Mr. Bennett, what about the sul- 
phur bank stock? Mr. Van Dusen rushed off and 
cashed my check for seven thousand dollars. What 
shall I do? 



NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH 81 

Bob. I haven't the slightest idea. 

Bishop. Oh, dear, oh, dear, shall I have to lose 
seven thousand dollars? Can't I get any of my 
money back? Tell me the truth. 

Bob. You might get some of it back, if you ask 
Mr. Ralston for it. 

Bishop. Some of it? 

Bob. We get everything we ask for in this world, 
Bishop, if we ask for it in the right way. 

Bishop. Oh, you mean I've got to pray for it? 

Bob. No, don't pray for it, Bishop. Ask for it, 
and the louder you ask the more you will get, and 
if you yell loud enough you may get it all. 

Bishop. Yell ? 

Bob. (Crossing up stage and going up the stairs 
l. Stops in the middle) Yell, that's what I mean. 
(Starts up the steps again, stops) Yell. When I say 
yell I mean bull the market. (CLOCK) (Clock 
strikes the half hour 3.30. Bob refers to it) Isn't 
that beautiful. (Smiles and exits upstairs) 

Bishop. (At left center to himself ) Bull? Bull 
the market? (Sudden thought) Oh, yes, up and 
down, up and down. (Ralston enters l. 2. 
Comes around piano above it to l. c. Bishop at 

Ralston. My dear Bishop, how are you? 

Bishop. If you don't mind my saying so, I'm a 
bit wary. 

Ralston. Wary? 

Bishop. I've been swindled in your house. You 
see this? (Shows certificate. Hands it to Ral- 
ston ) 

Ralston. Yes. (Looks at certificate) 

Bishop. Your name is on it, sir. On the back 
of it, sir. On the back of it. 

Ralston. (Turning the certificate over) I see 
— I see 



8>2 NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH 

Bishop. I've been Simple Simoned under your 
roof, sir. (Enter Van from c. Bishop sees him) 
There is the imposter ! Hold him ! 

Ralston. Now, Bishop. 

Bishop. Hold him! 

Ralston. Now, my dear — (At c.) — Bishop, Mr. 
Van Dusen will not run away. 

Bishop. (Advancing several steps toward Van 
Dusen, being intercepted by Ralston ) Hold 
him! 

Van. (Coming r. c.) What's the trouble? 

Bishop. You know what's the trouble. He told 
me it would go up. He told me I would double 
and triple my money. 

Ralston. Oh ! That's the way the wind blows, 
eh? Now, Bishop, in fairness you must admit you 
were trying to make more money than is consistent 
with safety. You were trying to get something for 
nothing. 

Bishop. (Excitedly) Do you call $7,000 
nothing ? 

Van. How do you know it is not good? 

Bishop. That honest gentleman, Mr. Bennett, 
told me so. He said it was no good at all. 

Van. What does he know about it ? 

Bishop. I believe him. 

Van. I'm afraid you believe the last thing you 
are told, Bishop. 

Ralston. Now, Bishop, this stock may turn out 
very well indeed. 

Bishop. Whistle that to the horse-marine, sir. 

Ralston. (Trying to pacify him) Now don't 
let us quarrel, Bishop. The best of friends have 
misunderstandings and are often better off for hav- 
ing them. 

Bishop. Better off? I'm seven thousand dol- 
lars out. 



NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH 83 

Ralston. (Showing Bishop certificate) Now 
take this and hold it. 

Bishop. (Steps r v pushing it aside and crossing 
to c.) I'll have none of it. I want my seven thou- 
sand dollars — (To Van ) — Or I'll tweek your nose. 

Van. You'll what? 

Ralston. Sssh — they'll hear you. 

Bishop. (Loudly) I want them to hear me. 

Van. Hush ! 

Bishop. I will not hush. — (To Ralston ) — He 
bested me in your house. — (Loudly) — Oh, my four- 
teen hundred pounds. 

Ralston. Hush! ssh! 

Van. Soft pedal, Bishop, please. 

Ralston. Now, Bishop, let me reason with you. 
You speculated. You expected to win three times 
the amount of your investment. You can't expect 
to do that and run no risk. 

Bishop. I didn't want to run a risk. I want 
my money! (Goes up to steps l. and shouts) I've 
been robbed ! 

Ralston. (Leading him down stage, a few steps) 
Hush ! Hush ! Good heavens ; Here take this ! 
(Offers him the certificate — he pushes it aside, 
drops down c.) 

Bishop. No! No! He rushed off to my bank 
and cashed my check before I could tell him I had 
been swindled. Oh, oh, o — o 

Van. f Ralston puts his hand over the Bishop's 
"mouth to prevent the people from hearing him. 
Van quickly goes up stage, shuts the c. doors, then 
goes extreme r. ) Choke him ! Choke him ! 

Ralston. Please speak softly, Bishop. 

Bishop. I don't want to speak softly. 

Ralston. Wait! Wait! Let me speak to Mr. 
Van Dusen. ( Crosses R. to Van ) Have you got 
his money? 



84 NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH 

Van. (Extreme r.) I've got it. 

Ralston. (Offering certificate to Van) Be a 
good fellow and buy it back. 

Van. No ! I bought it in good faith and I sold 
it. That's all there is to it. 

Bishop. Oh — dear — oh, dear — I want my seven 
thousand dollars. 

Ralston. Ssh ! Ssh ! 

Bishop. (Loudly) I want my seven thousand 
dollars. Oh — o — o — o — I've been swindled. 

Ralston, (c. Trying to quiet him) Wait — 
wait! I'm the one who always has to pay. (Takes 
check that Van has given him in Act One and cer- 
tificate in the other hand) Now, Bishop, I'll 
sell your stock for you. Understand? (Crosses 

R.J 

Bishop. Yes, I understand. 

Ralston. (Crossing to Van) Here's your cer- 
tified check — give me the money. (Van does so) 
Now, Bishop, the stock is sold. (Bishop goes to 
steps) 

Ralston. (Van gets back his certified check, 
Ralston puts certificate in pocket. Bishop goes up 
stage and looks up the stairs and off during this 
business) I charge five per cent for selling this 
class of stock — that's three hundred and fifty dol- 
lars. (Takes $350 from roll, puts in his pocket, 
and hands the Bishop the balance as he drops 
down l v leaving Ralston c.) There you are, 
Bishop, and no harm done. 

Bishop. Thank you, Mr. Ralston. Thank you 
very much, indeed. 

Ralston. Now I hope you're satisfied. (Cross- 
ing to Van) I'll set fire to his church. 

Van. (r.) Be sure he's in it. (Watching 
Bishop, who is over l. counting his money) I 
don't think he's going to swallow it. 



NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH 85 

Bishop, (l.) I'm shori ("Van grunts) I'm 
short — $350 — 70 pounds. 

Ralston. Why, that commission, Bishop. 

Bishop. I know nothing about business — what 
is commission? Am I to lose $350? 

Ralston. It's business. 

Bishop (Loudly) I've been the victim of a 
monkey trick. 

Van. Soft! Soft! (Going up stage, then 
down) 

Bishop. I've been too soft, sir. I don't under- 
stand it. I wish I had never come here. (Loudly 
ad lib) I shall tell the best people in town. 

Ralston. Ssh! Please! Please! 

Bishop. I want three hundred and fifty dol- 
lars, seventy pounds. (Loudly) 

Van. (Going up stage quickly, looks up stair- 
way and then off arch r.) Give it to him ! Give it 
to him! 

Ralston. (At c.) Here it is! Here it is! 
Take it! (Gives him money) Take it — Phew! 
Good Lord! (Goes up c.) 

Van. (At r. c.) Say, are you Billy Sunday's 
understudy ? 

Bishop. No, sir, I'm a child in these matters. 

Van. I've noticed that. 

Bishop. I know nothing of sordid business af- 
fairs. 

Ralston, (c.) Well, at least everything is all 
right now, isn't it? 

Bishop. Yes. I suppose so. (Thinking — takes 
out check book) But it's my money. You had it, 
sir. You took it out of my bank. You had the use 
of it — I want my interest. 

Van. What? 

Ralston. Interest? 

Van. I didn't use your money. 



86 NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH 

Bishop. That was not my fault. You had it. 
It was a risk. I must be paid for it. 

Van. (Emphatically) I'll pay you no interest. 

Bishop. (Starting to work up to a shout again) 
Oh, dear, you're cheating me because I know noth- 
ing about business. You're taking advantage of me 
because I've been reckless. I want 

Ralston. Please! Please! Ssh! (Trying to 
quiet him. But the Bishop continues) 

Bishop. (Ad. lib. Van and Ralston through 
this) You're trying things on me because I'm inno- 
cent looking. (Van opens door r. c.) I know 
nothing about business. (Bishop takes small pad 
and pencil from pocket. Crosses down to extreme 
L. and starts to figure) Seven thousand — six per 
cent one month is thirty-five dollars. (Turning to 
Ralston and Van ) I want my interest. 

Ralston. Hush ! I beg of you, Bishop. 

Bishop. (Yelling) I'll tell everyone, everyone. 

Van. (Going up stage, shuts the c. doors on 
arch, which he has opened as the Bishop is saying 
the preceding line — "You're trying things on me," 
etc.) Give it to him! Give it to him! (Comes 
down r. c.) 

Ralston. Here! (Takes out $35,) Here! 
Here's your $35. Quick! Take it! (Shoves the 
money into Bishop's hand) Whew ! You don't 
know a thing about business, do you ! 

Bishop. (Taking the money and counting it) 
No, sir! 

Van. He's as helpless as a lion. I'll hide this 
check before he gets it. (Puts check in pocket) 

Ralston. (Crossing to the Bishop who is lJ 
How much salary do you get a year, Bishop? 

Bishop. (Very quietly and dignified) Only 
Five thousand dollars, Mr. Ralston. 

Ralston. Well, if you should ever leave the 



NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH 87 

church, you're worth ten thousand dollars to me 
in my office. That's how much I think you know 
about business. 

Bishop. (Crossing in front of Ralston, up 
stage c, leaving Ralston r., Van r.) If you will 
excuse me, I'll go back to the bank. 

Van. (Going up r. of Bishop — Ralston l. of 
him) The bank is closed, Bishop. 

Bishop. They are going to keep it open for me, 
Mr. Clark requested them to. 

Ralston. J. P. Clark? 

Bishop. Yes. 

Van. Does Clark know you bought that stock? 

Bishop. Well — in strict confidence — I tried to 
sell it to him. 

Ralston. I'm ruined. (Groans and sinks on the 
settee) 

Van. You're what? 

Ralston. I'm ruined. What did he say to you? 
What did Clark say? 

Bishop. He told me to come up here and see 
Mr. Bennett. 

Ralston. You haven't seen Bennett? 

Bishop. Oh, yes, I saw Mr. Bennett, and I 
talked with him. 

Ralston. What did Bennett say? 

Bishop. He told me I would get my money back, 
if I yelled loud enough. 

Ralston. Oh — o — o — — (Holding his head) — 
Did Bennett say that? 

Bishop. Yes. 

Van. Listen, Bishop, if J. P. Clark asks you 
about that stock again, tell him I bought it back 
from you. , 

Ralston. With interest! 

Bishop. (Starting up to c. arch, stops, turns 
and comes back to Ralston, who is still seated on 



88 NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH 

bench) Oh, yes! I'd almost forgotten it. I be- 
lieve your daughter has at last her $20,000 charity 
money. ( Van sits l. of table) 

Ralston. It hasn't been settled yet. 

Bishop. (Starting to get loud) What? 

Ralston. (Quickly, trying to keep him from 
making another scene) I mean to say, it hasn't 
been settled how much I am to give. 

Bishop. Oh, we want all we can get. For we 
can use it — it's a very worthy charity. (Starts to 
go up a few steps to c. arch) 

Ralston. Don't overwork yourself. I think my 
daughter has raised enough for you. I don't want 
to give beyond my means, you know. 

Bishop. We will not allow your liberality to hide 
behind that plea. Well, well, I must be off. (Goes 
directly to c. arch, opens door which Van has closed, 
stops and comes back to Van, who is seated l. of 
table) Oh, yes, there's another thing, I'd almost 
forgotten. 

Van. Oh! (Mumbles to himself) 

Bishop. (Touching Van lightly on the shoul- 
der) You said you would give me a donation. 

Van. (Slowly turns in his chair and looks at 
the Bishop ) Did I? 

Bishop. Yes, sir! You told me at noon time 
you would subscribe. 

Van. Let it go until later. 

Bishop. Oh, dear, you promised. He promised 
he would give our committee some money. (Start- 
ing to cry again) ("Ralston starts to pacify him, 
also Van) 

Ralston. (Rises) Now, Bishop, please, 
please ! 

Bishop. I depended upon it, sir. You've 
broken your word to me. I shall tell everyone. 
(Bishop getting loud) 



NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH 89 

Ralston. Give it to him ! Give it to him ! 

Van. (Rising) Wait! Here's a hundred dol- 
lars for you. 

Bishop. Thank you, sir. (Bishop crosses up 
c. arch. Van at left of table r. Ralston l. c.) I 
trust this is genuine, sir. (Exits c. to r.J (Enter 
Dick from r. 3. Comes r c.J 

Ralston. Where have you been ? 

Dick. I've been looking for Bob. 

Van. They're of! all right. 

Ralston. Where's George Washington? 

Dick. I don't know. 

Ralston. Go and find him. Don't come back 
without him. Search everywhere. In the gardens. 
Drag the pond. (Starts up c.J 

Van. If he's in the pond, don't drag it. Drug 
it. (To r.) (Bob enters from arch c Comes 
down c.) 

Dick. (To l. c.) Come in here, Harold. 

Ralston. (Taking l.) Come on, hurry up. I 
want to talk to you. (Bob coming c. Ralston 
l. c. Van r. Dick l. c. Ralston in l. of DickJ 
You've ruined my business and wrecked my home. 
At least you'll tell my wife Mabel wasn't telling the 
truth. 

Bob. I think I can say Mabel exaggerated. 

Ralston. Exaggerated! You'll tell Mrs. Ral- 
ston I don't know Mabel at all. 

Bob. I won't tell a lie. 

Ralston. You won't, eh? 

Bob. No. 

Ralston. You'll set my wife against me, rather 
than lose? 

Bob. I'm very sorry, but I must win. 

Ralston. (Emphatically) All right, that settles 
it — it's gone far enough. The bet is called off. 
(340 Clock) 



90 NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH 

Van. (r.) I'll call the bet off, if you'll tell the 
Bishop I'm on the square. (The attitude now of 
these men is that it is within twenty minutes of the 
time limit and they are trying to get out of the 
bet) 

Dick. Maybe we'd better call it even and drop 
it. 

Ralston, (l.) All right, it's cancelled. Now, 
will you tell my wife what I want you to ? 

Bob. (c. Joyously) You mean, I win? 

Ralston, (l.) No, no, it's just called off. 
(This line is spoken very quietly) 

Bob. (c.) Wait a minute. The bet is not called 
off. It's on — very much on. Do you think that 
after I've answered every crazy question for nearly 
twenty-four hours, I'm going to let you call the 
bet off? You don't know me. 

Van. Will you take a furlough? 

Bob. No. I won't take a furlough. Even if I 
knew what it was, I wouldn't take it. You all ridi- 
culed me when I made this bet — you thought I was 
crazy. You pitied me. Oh, I haven't forgotten 
that. You didn't think I had a chance to win, did 
you? 

Dick. (l. c.) We didn't think you'd sacrifice 
your friends and everything to win. 

Bob. You didn't hesitate to sacrifice me. 

Ralston. How much will you take to stop now? 

Bob. I won't bargain. I've too much at stake. 
I'm going to win this $20,000 legitimately. 

Ralston, (l.) I'll give you 

Bob. ( c. Quickly) You'll give me nothing. 
You have put every obstacle in my way. You've 
tried every trick to force me into a falsehood, I've 
been through the toughest experience I ever had 
in my life, but I'm going straight through to the 
finish. 



NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH 91 

Ralston, (l. Pleading) Help us with Clark— 
with Marshall ? 

Bob. No. 

Van. The Bishop? 

Bob. No. 

Dick. Mrs. Ralston? 

Bob. No. 

Ralston. (Getting mad) You ingrate. I'll dis- 
solve our partnership. 

Bob. Very well, if it's necessary for me to lie 
to remain your partner, I might as well know it 
now. My self-respect is more important to me 
than your opinion. (Crosses to r. 3J Besides, I 
feel better — here. (Puts hand on heart) 

Ralston. How do you suppose I feel here? 
(Puts hand on heart) 

Bob. Empty! (Exits R. 3. Men all start r. 
ad. lib. till Mrs. Ralston speaks. Mrs. Ralston 
enters from l. u v comes down stairs) 

Mrs. Ralston. I thought you were here alone. 
If you have a few moments to spare, I would ap- 
preciate it. 

Dick. Pardon me, Mrs. Ralston. (Going up c.) 
Come, Van. ('Van going up to c. arch. Exit Van 
and Dick to r. Leaves Ralston right) 

Mrs. Ralston. I'm sorry to have to intrude 
upon you. 

Ralston. It's a pleasure, my dear, a pleas- 
ure. 

Mrs. Ralston. It is necessary for me to talk 
to you, and I trust you to he as truthful as it is 
possible for you to be. 

Ralston. Yes, my dear. 

Mrs. Ralston. I know some facts. I know the 
whom — where and when. I wish to arrive at an 
accurate conclusion of the what. 

Ralston. My dear, there is no what. I don't 



92 NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH 

know those girls : they are friends of that bounder, 
Dick. 

Mrs. Ralston. Well, prove it. 

Ralston. I will — ask Dick — ask Van. 

Mrs. Ralston. I wouldn't believe them on a 
stack of bibles. 

Ralston. Well, we haven't a stack of bibles. 
Why don't you ask me? 

Mrs. Ralston. I don't believe you have ever 
told the truth in your life. 

Ralston. (Takes his slap) Well, then, whom 
will we ask? 

Mrs. Ralston, (l. c.) Robert. (Ralston 
turns and looks off r. where Bob has gone. Point 
this, sure laugh) I still believe he knows the truth, 
and if Robert will tell me that you do not know 
those girls, I will believe him. I have implicit faith 
in him. He seems determined to tell the truth. 

Ralston, (r. c.) Yes. He got a reputation 
very quickly. 

Mrs. Ralston. But, until he tells me, I shall 
continue making plans to leave this house. 

Ralston. Oh, my dear. 

Mrs. Ralston. (Going up to the stairs) Un- 
less, of course, you intend to leave. (On first plat- 
form) 

Ralston. Now listen, my dear. 

Mrs. Ralston. Send Robert to me at once. 
(Starts to go upstairs, gets as far as the fourth 
step from the top landing) 

Ralston. Just as soon as I find him. ( Ralston 
crosses to r. of bottom stairs) Now, my dear, 
won't you please believe me ? You know, after all, 
I'm your husband. 

Mrs. Ralston. Yes, unfortunately. (Exits up- 
stairs) 

Ralston. Oh, great Scott! It's going to be a 



NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH 93 

close shave. (Points to clock. Crossing up to c. 
arch, calling off) Dick, Van! ("Ralston crosses 
to l. Van and Dick enter. Van first. Dick sits 
l. of table r. Van comes c.) You fellows don't 
mind letting me do all the worrying-. 

Dick. I'm worried enough, but what can we 
do? 

Van. This thing is getting down close and Fve 
got to protect my money. How does Mrs. Ralston 
feel now? 

Ralston, (l.) It's all up to Bennett. She says 
she will believe him. 

Van. Maybe we can make him tell her what we 
want him to. 

Dick. (In chair l. of table) You heard what 
he said about that. 

Van. There is one way to make him. 

Ralston. How ? 

Van. Make him lose the bet first — then he'll 
have no object in refusing. 

Dick. That's a bright idea. That's what we've 
been trying to do for the last twenty-four hours. 

Van. Yes, but we haven't been trying the right 
way. There is one way. 

Dick. How? 

Ralston. Make him tell her the bet. 

Van. He won't do that — Frame him! 

Dick. (Rises) What? 

Van. A frame-up is the hardest thing in the 
world to dodge. Real danger is often accomplished 
by certain warning signals. In a frame-up those 
who plan it take away the signs. Do you follow 
me? 

Ralston. Yes. 

Dick. As far as you've gone. 

Van. We've got to catch him off his guard. 

Dick. Who can do it? 



94 NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH 

Van. Gwen. 

Ralston. How can she do it? 

Van. He is more apt to lower his guard to her, 
isn't he? 

Ralston. Yes. 

Dick. What will she say to him ? What will she 
ask him? 

Van. Now be patient — Gwen knows that mis- 
take of Mabel's — we'll call it a mistake 

Ralston. (Very emphatic) You know it's a 
mistake. 

Van. All right, we know it's a mistake — It has 
made her mother very unhappy. She doesn't know 
exactly what it's all about, but that is what she 
must ask Bob. 

Ralston. What do you think he'll tell her? 

Van. It depends upon what she asks, and how 
she asks it. 

Dick. Certainly. I can see that. What's the 
trouble between father and mother? What are 
those girls doing here? It breaks my heart to see 
mother so unhappy. That kind of stuff, eh? 

Van. That's it. "Tell me, please tell me, that 
my father never met them." If he's got one spark 
of manhood left in him, he'll lie like a gentleman. 
(Sure laugh, but on the business that follows, Dick 
and Ralston, who have been facing audience think- 
ing this over, turn and look at Van simultaneously 
on the word "gentleman" ) Any man would. 

Ralston. Yes, I think even he would. 

Dick. (Crossing down from r. c. to r. in front 
of table) Well, if he wouldn't he's a stony-hearted 
jailor. 

Ralston. It's a mean advantage to take of him, 
but it's better than letting him win. 

Dick. Oh, I think to let him win would be ter- 
rible. 



NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH 95 

Van. The only way he can win is over my dead 
body. 

Ralston. He'll lie to Gwen if she asks the right 
question. 

Van. Sure! To comfort her he'll tell her that 
you never met them. 

Ralston. How will we know? 

Van. We will listen. We'll catch him red- 
handed. 

Dick. (Coming to Van J Who will coach 
Gwen? Who will tell her what to say? 

Van. I will. 

Ralston. (Gleefully) Good! Why didn't we 
think of this before? (Starts to go upstairs but 
only a step) We would never have heard the last 
of this, if he had won the bet. 

Van. (To l. of arch c.) Let's find Bob. 

Dick. All right. We all going to listen? 
(Crosses to r. near arch) 

Ralston. Certainly, we don't want any argu- 
ment. (Going up the stairs. Gets as far as the 
first landing) I'm going to stay right up here. 
Don't let's have an argument. (Takes two steps 
up the long stairs) 

Dick. I'm going to find Bob and be right out 
here. (Starts to exit r. As he does so — enter 
Ethel and Bishop from r. to u. through c. arch) 

Ethel. (As soon as the men hear this new char- 
acter they return to their positions. Ralston hides 
on the first landing behind the four-foot jog. Van 
extreme l. Dick r. Ralston does not make a 
move during this scene as it will detract from the 
plot that follows) Oh, Mr. Donnelly, where's 
Gwen? 

Dick. She's not here now. 

Bishop. (At c.) I'm so excited. They have 
heaped the measure of our request. 



9 6 NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH 

Ethel. Father sent me over with these for 
Gwen. (Shows four checks) 

Dick. What are they? 

Ethel, Just a moment, till I get my breath. 
When I arrived home, I found a lot of men there. 
They were having such a time, laughing up- 
roariously. 

Dick. What about? 

Ethel. They called me in and sent me here with 
the Bishop. 

Dick. Yes, yes. But what is it all about? 

Ethel. You'll have to let me tell it my way. 

Dick. All right. 

Ethel. For it's so important. 

Dick. All right. 

Ethel. (Front of table) It seems that Mr. 
Ralston tried to sell something to father and the 
other gentlemen, and when they heard that he had 
offered to double Gwen's charity money — you don't 
mind my saying this, do you ? 

Dick. No. Go on! 

Ethel. Well, Mr. Marshall said, "Old Ralston 
Irs worked up a reputation for being charitable 
but he's never given a dollar, because he's offered 
to double a prohibitive sum. This is our chance 
to catch him." And they all know it's a worthy 
charity. Here's the checks. Father's, Mr. Mar- 
shall's, Mr. Hadley's, Mr. Carter's. Ten thousand 
dollars each. Forty thousand dollars. And with 
Gwen's twenty thousand it makes a grand total of 
sixty thousand dollars for him to double. Ral- 
ston gives a big groan and sinks with his head on 
the balustrade) ("Bishop crosses up to the left of 
foot of stairs) 

Bishop. Did you hear the glad tidings? Did 
you hear the glad tidings? 

Ralston. (On the small platform, gives the 



NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH 97 

Bishop one look, then comes down the stairs to 
r. c.) Yes, I heard the glad tidings. 

Ethel, (l. c.) Oh, Mr. Ralston, they've de- 
cided to call the home by your name, The Ralston 
Home. 

Ralston. ( c.) Hmm ! I'll probably have to go 
there to live. 

Ethel. (Crossing up to the stairs and going up 
them, followed by Bishop ) Come along, Bishop. 
I'm going upstairs and tell Mrs. Ralston. (Exits 
with Bishop up stairs) 

Ralston. Sixty thousand dollars — I'm the one 
that always has to pay. I'll make him lose that 
bet and save that much anyway. Let's take Van's 
advice and frame him. (Works up to c. arch. 
Looks off) There's Gwen. 

Van. (To Dick) Find Bob. 

Dick. All right. (Exits r. 2) 

Ralston. It's a shame to do it. We'll catch him 
red-handed. (Going up the stairs) Don't let's miss 
a word of it. I'll be right up here. (Exits up 
stairs) (Van to r. of settee) (Enter Gwen 
from c. Crosses down to settee l. in front of 
piano) 

Gwen. Mr. Van Dusen. 

Van. I'm waiting here to see Bob. I've been 
talking with your father and mother. Your mother 
is upstairs — she's tired, I fancy. 

Gwen. Yes, I'm afraid she is. 

Van. It's too bad. You seem worried about 
something. ( Van has come r. of settee and is stand- 
ing. Gwen seated on the settee) 

Gwen. Oh, no, Mr. Van Dusen. 

Van. Oh, yes, I don't want to intrude into a 
personal matter, but Mr. Donnelly invited those 
young ladies here. They are not friends of Bob 
as you think. 



98 NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH 

Gwen. I didn't think so. I was under the im- 
pression they were Dick's — or maybe, friends of 
father's. 

Van. Your father doesn't know them — never 
met them. 

Gwen. Are you sure? 

Van. You ask Bob. He'll tell you all about 
it. 

Gwen. I'm going to ask him. 

Van. Tell him how worried you are. (Starts to 
cross stage to exit up c.) Make him reassure you. 
(Enter Bob from r v looking at his watch) 

Van. Why, how do you do, Robert? (Exits c. 
to r., sure laugh) 

Gwen. (Rising and coming to c.) Bob, please 
sit here. (Indicating l. on settee) 

Bob. I just want to fix this. (Starts for chair 
l. of table r.) 

Gwen. No — there (Pointing to settee 

again) (Bob crosses and sits on the left hand of 
settee) (Gwen, after Bob has seated himself, 
crosses over and sits r. of settee) Bob, do you 
really love me? 

Bob. Why, yes, Gwen. (Bob goes to put his 
arm around Gwen She gets up quickly and goes 
to c. When nothing is there to support Bob, he 
falls and his hand strikes the side of the settee. He 
sits up, feels his hand, takes the pillow which is 
on his side of the settee and places it on Gwen's 
side, to prevent a recurrence. After business Gwen 
comes back to the settee and sits) 

Gwen. Now, Bob, I am not going to have the 
other men in this house come to me, and offer me 
their sympathy, while you avoid me. It is your 
duty to explain everything to me. 

Bob. If you will wait just a little while, I can 
explain everything so easily. 



NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH 99 

(NOTE — Clock now fifteen (15) minutes to 
four) 

Gwen. Why will it be easier then than now? 

Bob. Why? 

Gwen. Yes, why? 

Bob. Well, because later — my mind will work 
easier. 

(NOTE — During this scene Gwen must sit up- 
right and take the attitude of cross-examination. 
Bob is sparring for time and very cautions) 

Gwen. I think you can tell me the truth now, 
just as well as later. Is it any easier to tell the 
truth on one day than on another? 

Bob. Yes, very much. 

Gwen. What? (In working clock hand to this 
hour you will find that the numerous laughs will 
aid you greatly. However, you must use your own 
judgment from the fifteen minutes to the five 
minutes period) 

Bob. Now listen, Gwen, won't you please trust 
me? Everything that I do I am doing for you. 

Gwen. I don't want to appear ungrateful, but 
truthfully I cannot see what you are doing for me, 
Bob. Those girls 

Bob. Now, Gwen, please. 

Gwen. Why did they come here? 

Bob. I think they came here to see Dick. 

Gwen. Did they come here to see father? 

Bob. No, no, Gwen. Believe me, that is true. 

Gwen. I believe you. Then mother is mistaken. 

Bob. Yes. 

Gwen. Why couldn't you have told me that at 
once. You don't enjoy seeing me worry, do 
you? 

Bob. That would make me very miserable, 
Gwen. I couldn't see you worry. 

Gwen. Then reassure me. (Enter Ralston 



ioo NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH 

stealthily from the top stairs, comes on four steps 
and remains until given point to exit.) Swear to 
me that my father never met either of those girls. 
That will convince me, and I will be happy. 
Well—? 

Bob. Gwen, if I tell you I never saw your father 
with either of those girls, would that make you 
any happier? 

Gwen. Yes. ( Ralston's face lights up with a 
smile as he knows Bob is going to lie. Bob, by in- 
tuition, feels that there is somebody in back of him. 
He shows the audience with his eyes that he is 
conscious of what is being done to him by the three 
men) (Pause — for a count of ten) Why do you 
hesitate? Did you ever see my father with those 
girls ? 

Bob. (Quickly) Yes. (Ralston, who has been 
on the quiveve, grabs his head, gasps and exits up 
the stairs) 

Gwen. Where? 

Bob. In the office. 

Gwen. When ? 

Bob. Yesterday. 

(NOTE — All of Bob's replies are pulled out of 
him, never quick) 

Gwen. What were they doing? 

Bob. (Starts to rise) Write me a letter about 
it, Gwen. 

Gwen. (Restraining Bob,) Just a moment. 
What were they doing when you saw them? 

Bob. Talking. 

Gwen. Just talking? 

Bob. There's a chain at Tiffany's at five — : — 

Gwen. Just a moment. What else did you see? 

Bob. I saw a chair — and an ice cooler, a stock 

ticker (Gwen stops him before he can get any 

further than ice cooler) 



NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH lot 

Gwen. Bob! When you first saw my father 
with those girls what was he doing? 

Bob. He was lighting a cigarette. 

Gwen. But he doesn't smoke cigarettes. 

Bob. I know he doesn't. That's the funny part 
about it. 

Gwen, But you just said father was lighting a: 
cigarette. 

Bob. I know I did. 

Gwen. Oh, then, it wasn't his cigarette? 

Bob. No. 

Gwen. Then whose cigarette was it? (This 
line comes as a sudden thought to Gwen ) 

Bob. I think it was Philip Morris's. (Clock 
hand at five to four) (CLOCK 5 to 4) 

Gwen. Bob ! (After a pause) Who was smok- 
ing the cigarette? Answer me truthfully. 

Bob. (Deaf mute signs — spells "Mabel") 

Gwen. Mabel? 

Bob. (Bus. "yes") 

Gwen. (Rising slowly) (Walking) Father lit 
her cigarette ? 

Bob. (Business — spells "Yes") 

Gwen. (Turns back to Bob suddenly) Well, 
you ought to be ashamed of yourself for telling me 
such a thing. 

Bob. Gwen ! 

Gwen. And furthermore, I do not think you are 
telling me the truth. 

Bob. (In desperation) Please don't say it isn't 
the truth. 

Gwen. Because Mr. Van Dusen just told me 
father had never met them. (Van comes on from 
c. Gets half-way on the stage, as he hears this 
next line. He doesn't stop but turns quickly and 
goes right out c. again. Tremendous laugh) 
Bob. Van Dusen is a liar! (Exit Van) 



102 NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH 

Gwen. I'd believe him. 

Bob. I did it all for you. 

Gwen. Oh! (Turns quickly and goes up the 
steps. As she reaches the middle, she stops) I had 
much rather you had spent your time telling the 
truth for me. (Exits up stairs) (Enter Ralston 
from l. c. Don't let this confuse you as he has 
simply come from the top stairs in another por- 
tion of the house, and comes around) (Dick 
enters from r. Van from c. They all make a 
ferocious movement for BobJ (Bob rises when 
he hears Ralston, goes c. Ralston l. c. Dick r. 
Van r. c.) 

Ralston. Leave my house. I divorce you — I 
mean I dissolve you — you are no longer my partner. 

Van. I have seen some people want to win a bet, 
but I've never met your equal. (Van goes up c.) 
(Dick crosses to Bob J 

Dick. To get an idea into his head you would 
have to drill through four inches of solid rock. 
Of course, if you want to quarrel with your bread 
and butter, it's not my affair. But you talk too 
much. (Crosses to r. Van comes down r. of 
Bob centre) 

Van. You should listen twice as much as you 
talk. That's why you were given two ears and 
only one mouth. 

Ralston. That was the psychological moment 
to have settled everything. Now, where are we? 
(Bob turns and looks at the clock, which is now 
three minutes to four) (3 to 4) 

Bob. In the stretch. 

Ralston. Oh, in the stretch. (This line is un- 
important, it is only used to allow Gwen to fill in 
coming down the stairs. Gwen enters as Bob's "in 
the stretch" Comes to c. l. of Bob,) 

Gwen. I'm sorry to have to speak to you again, 



NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH 103 

but I find that we have more charity money than we 
need. Please return my ten thousand dollars. 

Bob. I can't do that. 

Van. (Immediately sees anew avenue of escape) 
If he can't, ask him what he did with it. 

Ralston. (Gets the same idea) That's right, 
go on, Gwen, ask him what he did with your ten 
thousand dollars. Go on, my child, I'm your father 
— if you love me, ask him what he did with your 
ten thousand dollars. (Ralston looking at clock. 
Now one minute and a half to four) (Clock ij4 
to 4) 

Gwen. Tell me, Bob, what did you do with it? 

Bob. I can't tell you. 

Van. You not only can, but you must. (Clock 
ready) 

Ralston. Tell her the truth, what did you do 
with your ten thousand dollars? 

Van. Ask him again, he's got to tell you. 

Gwen. Bob, tell me what did you do with my 
ten thousand dollars? 

Ralston. Answer her, answer her. 

Bob. (To Gwenj Do you really want to know? 

Gwen. I must know. 

Bob. (To Van,) And you want her to know 
what I did with her ten thousand dollars? 

Van. (Quickly) Yes. 

Bob. (Turning and looking at clock up stage, 
and stalling every second for time. The men are 
all cognisant of the fact and are trying to make 
him speak) (To Ralston ) And you want her to 
know what I did with her ten thousand dollars? 

Ralston. Yes. 

Bob. (Turning to Dick) And you want her 
to know what I did with her ten thousand 

Dick. Yes. (Dick doesn't allow him to finish) 

Bob. (To Gwen ) Well, if you really want to 



104 NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH 

know what I did with your ten thousand dollars — 
ask your father. (Clock one to four) (Turns to 
father) (CLOCK i to 4) 

Ralston. No, no, don't ask me, I don't know. 

Bob. Ask Van. 

Van. I don't know. 

Bob. Ask — Dick. 

Dick. I don't know anything about it. 

Gwen. Bob, I insist that you tell me the truth. 

Ralston. No evasions. 

Gwen. Bob, if you do not tell me what you did 
with my money, I will break off our engagement. 
(Bob cornered at last) 

Bob. (Anxiously) Do you mean that ? 

Gwen. I do. 

Men. Tell her. (Clock strikes four) (Four 
o'clock strikes) (Everybody stands perfectly still. 
Bob's face breaks into a smile. He goes up and 
kisses and pats clock) 

Bob. (Coming dozvn to Gwen at c. left of her) 
Well, I won. 

Van. Now that you've won, will you tell her 
what you did with your ten thousand? 

Bob. Yes. 

Van. (Quickly) Tell her. 

Bob. No, you're too anxious. You might have 
been up to that clock again. (Goes over to tele- 
phone on piano) Hello, Central. Give me the 
correct time, please, will you? (Pause) Are you 
sure? Please see that it is correct. Thank you. 
(Hangs up receiver. Goes to Gwen, who is now 
R. c.) It's all right, Gwen, I won your ten thou- 
sand dollars. 

Gwen. (Turning her back on him and talking 
to Dick who is l. of table r. And Van extreme 
R. Ralston extreme l.) Thank you. 

Bob. (Sees immediately that he has to lie to get 



NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH 105 

Gwen back, that she will not believe the truth) 
Say, listen, Gwen, don't act like that. What I said 
about your father wasn't true. ("Bob's first lie. As 
he spoke it, he pulls out his watch and turns half- 
way and looks at clock to be sure it is four o'clock. 
He is still afraid) (Gwen turns to BorJ He 
never met those girls. (Turning to Ralston, who 
is seated by this time on the settee lJ Did you? 
No. You know, little partner, that I didn't mean 
to call you a walrus. But at that minute I could 
not think of whale. (Ralston gives Bob a dubious 
look) And, Dick, you know what I said about 
you? (Dick nods) You know I didn't mean that, 
don't you? (Dick smiles) And, Van, you know 
what I said about you ? (Van grunts "yes") Well, 
I mean that. (Enter Mrs. Ralston dozvn the steps 
followed by Ethel and the Bishop. Mrs. Ral- 
ston comes c. Ethel is left c. Bob is left of Mrs. 
Ralston in c.) (Bishop goes over r.) Mrs. Ral- 
ston, there has been a very terrible mistake here. 
Your husband never met those girls. (Turns to 
Ralston, so Ethel must be l. c. but above Bob,) 
Ask me if he ever met those girls. 

Ralston. (Who has risen) Did I ever meet 
those girls? 

Bob. No, you never met those girls. (Turns 
and sees Ethel, smiles) Boys, isn't that a beauti- 
ful hat? (CURTAIN) Ethel, will you dome a 
favor? (Ethel is beaming. She smiles "yes." 
Bob is lying in beautiful form) Will you sing 
something for me? (Ethel nods "yes." Bob leads 
her up to the piano. As Ethel sits, Bob is above 
her, looking in her face. Ethel sings "Just a little 
Love, a little kiss" the same as Act II on rise, but 
only the chorus. On the word "a little kiss" she 
turns and looks in Bob's face. Bob looks up and 
starts to applaud her. As he does so, Gwen speaks. 



106 NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH 

The moment Gwen speaks, Ethel drops the vol- 
ume of the song and is simply humming it so that 
the audience can get the lines going on down stage) 

Gwen. Bob. (Bob crosses down to Gwen c.) 
Tell me, what stock did you put my money on? 

Bob. ("Bob turns, has Gwen in his arms, gives 
Ralston a look, says) Steel. (Embrace) 

Curtain 



PROPERTY PLOT 



ACT I 



Furniture 

One flat-top desk 

One stenographer's desk with typewriter 

Four armchairs 

Three single chairs 

One stenographer's chair 

One filing case 

Ice cooler with bottle 

Leath armchair and table in entrance r. 

One bench 

Two leather armchairs 

One leather couch 

Side Properties 
On Desk 
Telephone on desk r. (Practical) 
Two ink stands 
Letter basket 
One book of stocks 
One large check book 
Pens 

Small calendar 

New York newspaper (open at stock quota- 
tions) 
Letter opener 

10/ 



io8 NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH 

Telegrams 

Sealed letters 

Eight large envelopes 

Check book — Van 

Paper money — Gwen. io-i-iooo 

Paper money — Bob. One dollar 

Paper money — Van. io-i-iooo 

Cigars — Van 

Ma tches — Ralston 

Cigarettes — Mabel or Dick 

Legal documents. Bill of Sales — Dick 

Check 

Pictures on the wall of following: Roosevelt, 
Lincoln, Washington and Wilson. Large 
Washington picture between windows 
u. c v as it is symbolic with the play. 

Stock ticker 

Hat tree 

Filing board with stock quotations hangs on 
wall d. l. below door. 

ACTS II and III 

Furniture 

Medium-size table r. 

Two chairs — either side of table r. 

Console table against flat u. r. 

Console table against flat l. 

Settee left 

Baby grand piano L. 

Single chair r. of the stairway 

Two tall stands r. and l. of c. door 

Table off r. entrance 

Chair off l. entrance 

Wicker table and two chairs out on the veranda 



NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH 109 

Side Properties 

Two small lamps on stands r. and l. of doors c. 

Pano lamp 

Large jar of summer flowers on console table 

u. R. 
Large jar of summer flowers on wicker table 

D. R. 

Five books in bookstand on console table d. r. 
Bronze picture on console table d. r. 
Small silver picture on photo on table. 
Fifteen pillows — different colors — on the seat 

that extends around stairway. 
Magazines on table out R. 
Magazines on wicker table c. 
Telephone — practical — on small console table R. 
Small silver picture on console table d. r. 

ELECTRICAL PLOT 

ACT II 

Three sets of brackets — not practical 

ACT III 

All light up full 



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